Healthy, yummy and KIMOCHI

The FATS story

2012-03-03T23:21:00.000-08:00

Saturday. Epic busy, as usual. Had a good time. Just doing normal things, enjoying doing things alone, again. I got up went for a facial at my usual spa then had a solo lunch at a Japanese restaurant, went to church, went to get my nails done and went home. So simple and what's so fun doing all these? I have no idea either! Haha.

In the morning I woke up and had my last greenie!!! Who knows, Kota Kinabalu might have a greenie too! This consisted of Sunwarrior raw vanilla protein, 2 small Japanese sweet potatoes, spinach, cinnamon and alkaline water. I prefer the chocolate protein honestly. Trying to find out what actually goes well with this vanilla one as it sort of has this powder-ish taste.

The facial I did was so good. It is worth $180 at The Tamarind Spa, my usual hideout. Love the place, services and most importantly the products that they use are definitely good. It's a multivitamin facial to help combat my bad breakout recently due to testing of new make-up and facial care products. An important interview is in 42 days so my skin has to clear and improve significantly by then. Probably will do weekly to bi-weekly sessions until April before switching to once a month. I'm not filthy rich but I spend where I feel it is necessary. Okay, sometimes I overspend on clothes (unnecessary).

Lunch at Shin Kushiya in Serangoon Gardens. I ordered this roasted pumpkin paste salad. I had the warm one before as a side this and it tasted divine. This one was served cold and it disappointed me with all the dressings made of dairy. I'd very much prefer something plain and bold. Also a sashimi salmon roll. Wiped off every inch of the thousand island. I really hate thousand island.

Got my nails done. I chose this earth toned brown. Usually I love medium red or nude beige so this was a daring choice. Wasn't sure at all if I was going to love it but hooray! I really do love it. Check out those eye bags smiling at ya!

For dinner I had a simple soup. Since I wasn't going to be home for the next four days, I decided to help clear the fridge. In an organic seaweed mushroom bouillon stock cube soup, I dumped in wakame, Shanghai greens, minced garlic, white pepper, and oh, prawn dumplings. I wasn't really hungry. Didn't want to have dairy either which might cause nauseousness, bad for the flight tomorrow.

So now here it comes. THE ~~CARBS~~ STORY. Well in actual ~~fats~~ facts, it is the FATS story with some truth about carbohydrates. Lets have a look. I'm going along with some points Dr. Udo Erasmus has covered in his article.

1. People think that if they eat fats, they are going to get fat, which is completely untrue. People get fat because of carbohydrates which they don't burn. This is why I tell people, that with carbohydrates, if you don't burn them, you wear them.

2. When you eat good fats they suppress appetite, whereas when you eat carbs your blood sugar goes up and if it is too high, insulin drives into your cells, and when you don't burn those, it turns into body fat.

3. Carbohydrate addiction is as bad as any form of addiction such as cocaine, tobacco or alcohol.

4. Cooking oils are treated with harsh chemicals including sodium hydroxide and phosphoric acid..., then bleached and they turn rancid... etc.

5. Frying is one of the most damaging forms of cooking.

6. When we look at nature, the standard that life sets for creatures is to eat everything fresh and raw.

7. 100 years ago, Mediterranean people did not use olive oil for frying. They first cooked their food in water, drained it, before adding oil because oil enhances flavor and improves absorption of nutrients.

So lets have a breakdown here. What are good fats? Well, what I have always always known is that good fats are monounsaturated and polyunsaturated. Bad fats are trans fat and saturated fat.

While there are so many different categorizations out there and we never know whether what we're eating is a good fat or bad fat. Never be too uptight about it. Enjoy your food but be conscious and aware of what you're eating. Soon, your body will be able to self detect good food from "bad" food, like mine.

What do I eat for good fats? Here goes...

Nuts (Raw or baked, Organic where possible)
Nut butters (Cashew butter, PB, Almond butter, Tahini, Coconut butter) The least processed the better, go organic, NOT skippy which contains hydrogenated oils, a very big disgusting ingredient.
Avocados
Sesame
Fatty fish like salmon, tuna and sardines

Good fats do reduce cravings. So before you double guess that avocado, have it! But as always, all things in moderation. That little green guy packs up in calories. However if it is going to keep your nutrient levels satisfied, it might save you the over-consumption of your chips, fries or whatever it is for you.

Hope this helped. The FATS story was based from an article in Healthy Times, January to March issue 2012, Singapore.

I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. So I'll see you back here on Wednesday evening when I get back!

xoxo. God bless.

Meals

2012-03-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

This week has been so hectic it just flew me by. But I still feel it is a "slow" pace because! Your royal princess (me) is going on a holiday with her friends for the very first time! It took a great deal of sulking and persuasion for Daddy to relent.

I have been really tired hence have not found the time to hit the gym at all. Such a bummer. But I've done a lot of incorporated exercises like brisk walking home, and basically brisk walking wherever I go, haha!

Other than that I've been keeping to my CLEAN diet. A little dairy here and there but nothing overwhelming. Zero binge eating and eating till I'm just a wee-bit full. It has been working oh so well! However my busy schedule demands that I don't eat timely meals so.... gastric a little active. Keeping it calm with manuka honey and wholesome food with low-sodium.

Today was a real busy day. I overslept, got up and while getting ready had some fruits. A peach and organic red apple. Mummy cuts beautifully fruits doesn't she?

For lunch I only managed to have it at 420pm. So ridiculous but I was that busy! I made a stop over at this French bistro, Saybons and had a broccoli cheddar soup with a mushroom asparagus melt crepe. It was delicious, warm and comforting BUT too much dairy from the cheese and butter. It made me a little nauseous. I am thankful however to have kept my stomach filled.

Came home and later had a simple dinner. 2 slices of Ezekiel bread with mashed finger bananas, nuttelex, sprinkled with cinnamon, Himalayan rock salt and drizzled with agave syrup. Was a good sweet dinner. Bananas on dry toast is a winner for gastric!

On other days I just kept things simple. Had soy milk everyday. Made sure I ate an adequate if not bountiful portion of fruits and vegetables. Just the simple rules. A little bit too many carbs with bread and rice but I let it go.

This was a super greenie I had one morning when I woke up feeling like crap. Nauseous and everything. You'll know it when your body begs for good clean food. So I blended together Sunwarrior raw chocolate protein, blueberries, spinach, alkaline water, ice and cinnamon. It was so good. I'm gonna miss my greenies when I travel.

These are organic frozen sweet potato fries. I just sprayed them with a little bit of Crisco butter flavored spray, tossed them in the toaster oven for 10 minutes and wala. Golden orange delicious fries. Whoever said that fries had to be oily and unhealthy?

Quinoa cereal. Oatmeal squares had me reaching for seconds, thirds and just too many servings. I don't quite fancy this quinoa cereal though it is low in calories and really good on the nutritional scale. It taste more savory than sweet. I'm definitely a sweet person, without a doubt. Tried it with soy milk and blueberries. Didn't particularly enjoy it, but it kept me full.

When I'm out, I keep to simple foods with as little artificial flavorings as possible. Went to this place called The Living Cafe. It's off sixth avenue and I've been so eager to go there. It has great variations of raw food from raw pizzas to raw cakes. I didn't feel like going raw. Most of the time I crave for warm foods, so raw takes a great deal of discipline sometimes.

I had their brown rice bowl, Mexican style topped with grilled fish. The fish was EXCELLENT. If I could I'd literally sing its praises, lalala. Marinated with herbs and so fresh. It is tastier than fish and chips for sure and of course better for your waistline! On the side a sweetgrass juice. Which is a shot of wheatgrass blended with pineapple and something... can't recall. Was good too.

My body is looking better now, although the weight hasn't gone down... I believe it's the carbo that I ate but did not burn off. The carbo story will be coming up tomorrow before I leave for flight. Look out for it because it is so interesting!

My main concern now is travelling. I won't be able to bring my liquid chlorophyll and aloe vera with me as these require refrigeration and won't stand the transportation duration. I reply on them heavily for detox and cleansing. So when I'm overseas I'll load up on veggies, fruits and A LOT of water. Believe me, water is the number cure for constipation.

My girlfriends that I'll be travelling with are all foodies so I must watch and have great discipline. After these two weeks of disciplined eating, binge eating is not a way of life anymore. I don't crave for unnecessary calories. So I believe I'll cope well. Definitely bringing my vitamins and supplements along! Haha! My BodyInc custom blend Petal Pillow herbal tea too. I'm so proud to say that health and the wanting to live it is deeply rooted within me.

xoxo. God bless.

Keeping in check

2012-02-26T23:50:00.000-08:00

I've created a new blog here at www.eien-made.blogspot.com. It is a more personal space so I will be keeping this blog STRICTLY for health issues, food intakes, health tips and etc. It is a very vague blog so don't get lost in it! Haha! No, it's isn't right for anyone to read it because it is just that personal (albeit vague). So read it at your own interest. I'll leave the address on my side tabs. I hope not to share freely but to be reachable. Everybody goes through problems and issues and I just want to find that ground of understanding. Through my confusion, may you find hope and peace, as I am in search of that too :)

So back to the foodie yes? Let me log up another time table. I realize it does help me to keep track of my food intake.

845am: Breakfast- boiled Japanese sweet potatoes with Vitasoy (soy milk)

1-ish pm: Lunch at Relish- Roasted pumpkin feta salad, (shared) creamy garlic mushroom linguine

6pm: Dinner- Sainsburys garlic ciabatta + blend of raw spinach, boiled sweet potato, cinnamon and vitasoy

*Snacks after dinner was a cup of nestum with full cream milk powder added in, together with a packet of wholemeal crackers.

Overall I am pretty much satisfied with today's intake. Mushroom linguine was SO GOOD. So well done. I'm quite the expert on creamy pastas, ate them all my life till I stopped recently.

Back on BodyInc's 'Miracal' pill which aids in proper digestion and will in turn have good internal body system which is beneficial overall- for complexion, slimming and detox system. It is really good made up with natural TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) ingredients.

For me, what I have to learn is portion control. It isn't easy because I was so used to over-indulging. Sometimes I scare myself. Especially since my stomach capacity is really tiny. Clench your fist and have a look at it :) I'm getting the hang of it though. Trying to replace the craving for dairy products with soy milk as soy is thicker than almond/rice/oat milks.

I also drink lots of BodyInc's herbal tea but my favorite would be their home blend called 'MSC' (multi-system cleanse). It retails in BodyInc so if you do happen to be around Takashimaya, try to stop by and get a jar of it. A little goes a long way and it is really effective.

Never shortchange yourself!

2012-02-25T23:12:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day, that is until now, the heat in Singapore is getting to me. I am having such a bad headache and also feeling nauseous.

Lets look through a little "timetable" of what I had today.

930am: Breakfast- 2 Fukuoka kiwi, 1 London clementine, 4 walkers shortbread fingers (whoops!)

1pm: Lunch- Homemade quinoa, steam corn, balsamic spinach (raw), mock bacon bits

3pm: Snack- 1 organic Pink Lady red apple, 1 mini pack cranberry oat cookies from Sainsburys

6pm: Dinner at Cedele- Grilled sea bass with salsa and cheese in wholemeal linseed bread, roselle tea

9pm: Snack- 1 mini pack cranberry oat cookies from Sainsburys

*Throughout the day I had a few scoops of milk powder dunked in my mouth and 2 pots of Oxycha, BodyInc's antioxidant home-blend.

I spent the day reading a lot while I was home. Health magazines, health blogs/websites and stuff. This is a little snapshot I took. A lot more to share but the magazine is downstairs and I feel to ill to even move an inch, another day then! Regarding this statement about stomach cancer, it is serious. One of the top three cancer concerns for Singaporeans. Often people don't realize it till it hits the advanced stages.

To be honest, 2 years back I was told by my doctor after a series of tests that I have a very high chance of getting cancer, and in my case of constant gastritis-, stomach cancer. I was devastated but I only told 1 person who actually didn't bother to reply me (it was for administrative duty purposes I had to reveal my state of health). I felt lost and hopeless, I had lost tons of weight and just felt weaker with every passing moment. I'm glad I'm here today plagued by nothing. I did a lot of things for God at the time, I asked Him for strength to bring me through so that I could honor Him.

It pains me that I'm not taking as much care of my health as I should be. I am trying to "fit in", be like everyone else... and it always makes me wonder, why is it so tough to be ordinary, to be an average individual? I still do not have the answer to that yet, I still do not know why God is allowing me to be so frail and helpless. However what I do know is that He is here for me, always been and always will.

While currently I'm going through a period of insurmountable frustration, hopelessness, devastation and hurt, I do not believe He allows me to go through these struggles for no apparent reason (remember Job in the bible?) but I do question Him everyday with the same thing.. "WHY?"

I was walking home just now and listening to my mp3 which played 'I exalt Thee' by Jesus Culture. Was feeling fine, or so I thought. Before I knew it, tears started streaming down my tender face. I said out to God and to myself for the very first time, what I actually wanted to achieve in life. All these plans I've been making for myself, all these "goals" I've been trying to achieve were just but cover-ups to pull the pain away from me. Yet realistically speaking, the pain lives within me. I can run away but I cannot flee from myself. 2012 is going to be a drastic year for me. Lets see what happens!

A final note. DEAL WITH YOUR HEALTH, BEFORE YOUR HEALTH DEALS WITH YOU.

xoxo. God bless.

Quality over quantity

2012-02-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

Made some gluten free cinnamon sugar cookie thins yesterday. A little tweak of Joanna's recipe over @ her space. I have conversed with her before through e-mail and she is an amazing person. I love her blog and how real she is. So here's some snaps on my baking yesterday. I had a wonderful time and these babies turned out to delicious yet light on the palate. Tasted like churros in my opinion!

Today it totally hit me. I'M A SOUP PERSON. Sorry, I gotta do what I gotta do... that is... SHOUT IT OUT!!! I used to have soup for dinner everyday but once I eliminated meal (except seafood) from my diet, I was clueless as to how to go about eating because Chinese soups generally all require boiled of chicken parts/bones to produce a flavorful stock.

Went to Paragon's soup kitchen for lunch (my favorite branch so far) and had their Chef's special French Ratatouille. It was great. A truckload of vegetables. Everything I needed in a bowl. The bread roll however tasted rather stale. Cedele's bread gotta win them hands down when it comes to bread and soup pairing. I'm going to try including soup in my daily diet again. It keeps me so full, so satisfied with so little calories.

Nonetheless, as I hadn't eaten anything for the day till my lunch at a miserable 4pm, I think the hunger got to me subconsciously so I overloaded on carbohydrates late at night after my Zumba class which is my last lesson. I heard the next intake is already full :( I had a PB sandwich with light cheese, a kaya bun and Oatmeal squares cereal in full cream milk. Holy Sh-molies! Death by carbo! It is insane. I've to stop this insanity because when I went shopping today, I could barely squeeze into a pair of shorts (which I bought anyway). A size bigger would be too lose. So 2 options, either I put on more weight and fit into the size bigger, or I stop eating excessively and fit back into my original size. I choose to latter, very quite obviously!

Recently, as you can see, and as I have mentioned. I've been eating A LOT. Not unhealthy things but scary quantity. I'm so scared looking at my plates. Above is cous cous with boiled asparagus, stir fry garlic choy sum and microwaved fish ngoh hiang. I loathe a meal so sub-standard. I am so much more than this!

A good thing I should say is I've been eating tons of fruits! On an empty stomach! So I don't get sugar cravings anymore. Sweet ripe fruits always do this for me. Yay!

Every individual differs. It is important to know your weakness, your strengths and how to use it all in your favor. I'm a sucker for sweet creamy treats. While having full cream milk and cereal have proven to reduce and almost eliminate all forms of cake cravings, it is not doing my digestive system and waistline much good. So, I'm thinking Greek yogurt. Hopefully that will work better. Next grocery trip should be coming up real soon!

xoxo. God bless.

How deep is your green?

2012-02-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Hello! Welcome me back! I've honestly been struggling this whole time. The weight doesn't seem to be going down, the jeans are so hard to squeeze into, the appetite becomes ravenous too! I've cut down on processed food and snacks but I've been eating more WHOLE foods now, which is good... but not in excess. So trying to control portion sizes, chewing while I eat and increase fluid intake.

Recently I've become increasingly interested about LIVING GREEN and my best friend tweeted earlier, a Martin Luther King Jr statement, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." Truly it is a beautiful statement. For fear that people find me strange or worst, unacceptable, I tend to close up when it comes to being loud and proud about health, sustainability and how our emotions and body work together. I realize some people do not wish to hear, some do not wish to believe and there are just too many cynics out there.

I guess it's 'cos people don't have immediate death after eating chicken rice or get sentenced to hell, hence it isn't an impending doom situation to stop eating it for any reason at all. I can only hurt inside on their lack of knowledge.

I love to tell my brother things, he loves to listen and eat my "type" of food. But he doesn't see the need to convert to a vegan or whatever it is. I am 100% okay with that, because it is his life, he is responsible for his own mindset and body. I am happy that he did not mock my ideas and beliefs. Because if you truly accept me, you'd never do that. Hence I've been hurt in that sense by some people around me.

THEREFORE! I choose the route of self-acceptance, self-love and this would work. Here's a picture of me with and without make up. I went out for a brief grocery trip without make up today. I guess I will never be satisfied with how people may love me, superficially and all. But if I love myself , why, I'll feel much better doing the things I do.

WHOLE meals.

Real food cafe's organic dumpling soup (10 vegetables inside!) and brown rice.

Cous cous with grilled vegan nuggets and Muji instant 10 vegetable Japanese curry with added cabbage and carrot

Fukuoka seasonal fruits. Strawberries and kiwi. Vitamin C to combat the silly flu I'm down with.

TONS of colorful veggie stir frys! Yumm. Garlic and oyster sauce. One was with a vegetarian mushroom patty, the other with 2 instant oat chapatis.

Whole milk powdered cereal. I make a warm milk mixture, dump in Quaker oatmeal squares (sometimes strawberries) and sprinkle more whole milk on top. This is satisfying and curbs my need for pastries, however, it doesn't sit to well with me causing me to gain unnecessary weight as I cannot process dairy very well.

I will continue "investigating" on how to make this earth a better place. The question I have is, HOW DEEP IS YOUR GREEN? Can we just stop living in the surface and start thinking of the consequences of our actions? Sigh.

xoxo. God bless.

CLEAN

2012-02-06T20:08:00.000-08:00

Hello! I am running on empty. Seriously. There is nothing left within me, maybe just a soul, an empty soul to be exact. I have felt this feeling before but never has it been this magnified. It used to lie in certain areas of my life, now it is everything. From work, to family, love and church, I am down in the dumpsters, truly. When I took this picture, I looked at myself, I wasn't particularly feeling physically lethargic or anything, but I saw tiredness in my eyes. Spoke to my nutritionist and friend, Bibiana last week and the first thing she said upon seeing me was, "how are you, you look tired." It ain't a joke. Every minute of my life I am tired.

I do however attribute a wee bit part of this lethargy to my current weight gain due to the CNY goodies and overindulging outside. My lack of quality sleep (3am to 10am) also plays a major role. I cannot go on like this. It is killing me and driving me insane. For most part of my life I've always been contented, but now, I try to be.... and I know this isn't it. If I had my thoughts aligned right, this year is a year of testing for me and towards the end God would be there at the finishing line. I still do not know what I'm going to do. Been making rash decisions in life and food. I hate being so disorganized or what do you call it, spontaneous?

A rather good meal recently was this raw peanut miso help noodles with kailan steps on the side. Ordered this raw noodle online and followed the recipe stated at the back. It's SO good. For the peanut miso sauce, I believe it would serve as an outstanding dip for perhaps if you're healthy, baked tofu, raw carrot sticks and if you're unhealthy, fries.

This was yesterday's dinner. Tofurkey vegan pizza. No dairy, no meat. How the hell do you call it a pizza then? Well check this out,... broddy and I had a great time polishing it off! So much less sodium and fats as compared to a normal pizza. But the flavor definitely does not disappoint.

Today's dinner is simple. I hadn't eaten anything substantial the entire day today. Was out running errands and did some shopping. Had 2 steam bread from Breaktalk while on the go. Dinner includes stir fry cabbage with dried shrimp cooked by my helper, microwaves New Moon otah (trans-fat free) and white rice. Something warm and comforting to end the day is always much appreciated. Didn't drink any horlicks or milo today, not yet at least. I have been drinking a cup a day with full cream milk powder (organic of course!) to satisfy by craving for comfort foods like cake, cookies and all buttery creamy snacks. It has been working. But I have been too bloated, I figure it is the dairy that doesn't sit too well with me. Nonetheless, it is still way better than chomping down cakes!

It has always been my dream to be a flight stewardess for SIA. SIA is an image of prestige to me. Obviously having a father who's a captain from the airline doesn't make things easier as people often do not take to the idea of becoming a "high class waitress". It is more than that to me, so much more. I'm not even in it to travel and see the world because I already have done so. I dare not say I'll be entirely happy being one, but it's the "you only have one life, live it" notion that's pushing me towards this dream.

Cheers to SQ! Here's a sneak preview of red lip stick that I bought today from Chanel. Honestly, once you go Chanel, you never go back. No lip stick can be applied so smoothly and rest creamily on your lips like it does. While the picture doesn't show much as I've been out an entire day with it already, it just marks a change in me. I've changed, a lot. I do not know if I like it but circumstances have dictated such. Sigh.

Everyday in an attempt to tame my taste buds I tell myself it's mind over matter. Don't reach for things with overwhelming amounts of salt, oil, sugar and fats. Keep it clean. I love the word clean. It says a lot. It's the brand of one of the perfumes I use in fact. So now, say hello to a CLEAN diet. I want to keep this up!

xoxo. God bless.

Keep walking

2012-01-31T23:49:00.000-08:00

My promised raw recipe didn't come by today but I assure you AND myself that it will this week! I got up around brunch time and went down to the living room. Obviously hungry and the eyes started its search. There in front of me was a box. Curious, I opened it. NOODLES! Mee goreng to be exact and it is my favorite one cooked by grandma!

While I clearly remember being so excited about having my raw noodles for brunch, this impulsiveness consumed me and before I knew it, brunch was in my tummy and I did not know how or why. Truly an Indian-Chinese brunch? Yes indeed. Boiled Shanghai greens to go along with the noodles. While it isn't wrong to have this, I shouldn't be putting too heavily cooked foods into my body. I just don't like the after sluggish feeling. I had the exact same thing for dinner, just that there was a little vegetable change up to beansprouts and eggplant.

I went to teach in the afternoon and ran some errands. It was pouring like crazy. The weather is so temperamental I'm starting to wonder if it could be a women. Right, that makes no sense. Getting along... my tummy started to grumble. Technically speaking, it has that right to do so. But after lunch, I sinfully ate about 10 peanut sugar cookies so it is just there in me, choking up my body system. I decided to satiate that hunger at around 4-ish with thie mini-wrap from Salad Stop! This flavor is called "O Crab Lah" and included some greens, glass noodles, tomatoes, red onion, egg and crab sticks in some tomato chili dressing. I still like my Habibi the best :D

After dinner, I rushed off to my very first lesson of ZUMBA class.It was sensational! Whether you're doing it to lose weight, keep fit or simply get some jiggy in that body, it will work! Superb cardio workout. It's exercising without the thought of "exercising". This lesson will last for a month, once a week.

This is me right over here. While my sister said that she thinks I look fine being 45kg now, I think otherwise. I do like my body and the overall shape of it, but I cannot... I emphasize, CANNOT stand the bulges. Come on', everyone has it... but not me! I've never had them so with them now I know it is the excess CNY, Christmas goodies at work. The combination work of fats, carbohydrates and aging. So these definitely got to go. The weight is not an issue, I'd probably be fine at 42-43kg... just that I have to do something about the "love handles". Ain't nothing to love about it.

Ideally, talking a stroll after a meal always helps keeps these love handles at bay because when you sit there is this pressure around your hips which is where the fat will be stored ultimately if you do not get up and get moving. The dangers of being an OL (office lady) much.

I came across this quote today..

"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." - Ken Keyes

It inspires me. Not only do we have to be the change we want to see; as in do unto others what you would have them do to you, but we also are what we see. A bitter person will never see the simple pleasures.

Have a jolly day!

xoxo. God bless.

A step of change

2012-01-30T23:38:00.000-08:00

Hi! I am back in the sack! It has been a terribly busy CNY this 2012. So lets get back on track shall we? Aside to continuously piling up on the weighing scale, I quite love my body as it is. Just getting rid of all the existent fat that bugs me when I look in the mirror or attempt to button my jeans. Yes, I barely wear jeans now 'cos all of them don't fit (too tight).

This is my game plan for now as my appetite kinda is all over the place. I am attempting to subdue the ravenous stomach walls subtly.

1. Have 1 biggest meal a day (lunch/ dinner)

2. Go raw/light for the rest (fruits, boiled vegetables, raw recipes)

3. Keep moving without intensive exercise (swimming, brisk-walking, dancing, etc)

So we'll see how this works out! I have began recipe planning again and am looking forward to it. Lets take a look through today shall we? Quite a confused start of the week if you'd ask me.

Brunch at 1140am. Tried to cook oat bran with an Asian twist: FAILED! It was horrible. Boiled it in yeast-free Kallo's organic vegetable stock and added sugar and black pepper. Doesn't go, I guess it needs the milky taste from well, milk or alternative like almond/soy milk. Had it with stir-fry fish cake and beansprouts in vegetarian prawn paste.

What I did learn from this experience is that, I LOVE COOKING. Failing just makes me want to try something else again! So look out for tomorrow as I'll be going raw with something :)

I got busy for the rest of the afternoon. But I snacked a lot Kuih Bangkit after lunch and again after dinner. These snacks are really dangerous. Like pineapple tarts, chips and all these sinful indulgences... you never stop with just one. So stop kidding yourself, if you are like me and you can't stop, DON'T START! Thanks goodness Kuih Bangkit is relatively low in calories (high in sugar though!) so I probably burned it off pretty quickly.

Rushed home and did not let any weather or silly excuses get in the way of my work out, swimming! I haven't gone swimming in the longest time and I was definitely rusty. Played about a bit and just enjoyed myself. Dipped in the jacuzzi to relax before showering and heading home.

Here's a snapshot. I am going to be my own witness to trim of all these excess fat. You may say that I'm hallucinating or that it's uncalled for. But I honestly believe if I were to step on a weighing scale which ratios out my body fat content, it is going to be high!

Dinner was light and simple. Made a stop on the way home to get myself some Berrylite Greek yogurt ice-cream with strawberries, kiwi and oreos. Always the perfect combination.

So lets end this on an excellent cheerful note.

We ought to never make food the enemy or "abstain" from them. Like now, I do consume dairy like cheese, yogurt and stuff. I listen, and I know my body is craving for these. So in moderation because there are times I run to the washroom several times because of certain types of dairy.

What has been your indulgence that you cannot resist? How are you going to take that step of change today?

xoxo. God bless.

Believe me not

2012-01-23T21:53:00.000-08:00

A heavy energy could be permeating your personal life right now. Perhaps you're having trouble in paradise? Running into conflict with a friend? Whatever it is, the solution lies in effective communication. Consider how you might need to alter your approach.

沟通之后会更亲密 (After communication, love will be sweeter)

必须化解跟人之间的误会 (There is a need to clear up misunderstandings with people)

All these Chinese zodiac 2012 astrology are so easy to come by with the hype of Chinese New Year in the air. I am someone who can get easily swayed when I am sensitive to the issue at hand. In this case, yes Sir'ee I am! Since mid-November to current, I have been struggling with a certain issue with a certain someone. I've fluctuated from happy to romantic to pretending to hurt to anger to hurt again and now avoidance. It has been such a trying time for me. So when these astrology stuff hit the nail in the head, it is really hard not to feel anything. Not just this, but other aspects of my life were all spot on too.

I forgot to snap a photo of my food today as I just enjoyed the company of family and laughter. Basically my uncle cooked healthy stuff. I ate mushroom rice, nasi lemak rice, vegetables, fish and prawns for lunch. I had just the two rice dishes again for dinner. So much carbohydrates that I am going to burst. Snacks included my neighbor's fried nian gao (sticky glutinous cake) and my uncle's banana cake. When people make these things with love for me, I just appreciate it, full stop.

Some sentiments here. I love taking long walks even when I do not know where I am heading. The other days while I was taking a stroll at Holland Village, something dawned upon me. As I walked, many many people passed by me. They see me walking down the path and they walk on by. These people I reckon are like those that come into our lives at different seasons, or say they are our "friends" and stand by the pavement. Unless someone has been beside you all along, taking the stroll with you, he or she will never realize how far you've come or how hard it has been for you.

Hence I conclude with this. I do not blame people who might know my situation for being tactless and hurtful at times. It is not a sorry plight or whatever it may look to be. There is something beneath it all. If you do believe that things happen for a purpose and a reason, then you should believe whatever happened to me was not just "a mistake" or "lets just leave it here and move on" incident. Just because I do not speak or choose not to, does not erase the constant realizations I have made.

Health like our emotional being is one image. If you put negative things in, you get negative consequences. If you consume oily and starchy foods, expect to get pimples, oily skin and hair, etc. If you dump feelings of hate, self-loathe or pain inside yourself, then expect to be a walking image of misery. It is YOU. What YOU do makes that difference.

xoxo. God bless.

Festive season and a sneak peek into teas

2012-01-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year's Eve! More than anything, Chinese New Year seems to be more of a prominent marker that it is time for a brand new year. Sometimes January brings over the disappointments of 2011, well it did for me. I can't say February is going to fantastic and better but I cling on to hope.

Yesterday's reunion dinner which was a Korean buffet kinda thing almost ended my life. I ate tons of rice and crispy pancakes with vegetables. Didn't eat any meat and the meat and seafood grill was all mixed together and I feel nauseous just looking at it.My cousins and I had a good time though and isn't that what reunion dinner's really all about?

This is dinner I cooked today, all by myself! Mummy gave me a chance to whip up a family dinner for the brother, sister, herself and me. Daddy will only be back tomorrow. She bought fresh chicken meat from the market and I refused to cook it at first. Later on I gave it 'cos I felt bad that they might feel shortchanged eating my food. It was highly unethical of me to do so.... all I managed to do was pray for the chicken and feel utterly sorry for it's unethical death.

First up was my own recipe of Japanese mushroom butter soup. This would definitely be better with miso but my sister doesn't like miso so I omitted it. It contains a French onion base stock, shitake mushrooms, enoki mushrooms, garlic, butter, wakame, white pepper and salt.

Secondly, vegetables! Can't go wrong with these. Made a very simple house favorite, garlic shitake mushrooms with boiled Shanghai greens.

The third dish was butter maple prawns! This is a more "me" recipe. Another invention by yours truly. There wasn't any trace or hint of sugar, yay! With the right ingredients and adequate knowledge, "healthy-fying" your cooking is as easy as ABC! This had simply butter, organic pure maple syrup, sea-salt, black pepper and dried oregano.

Lastly, wolfberry chicken! I used to cook this all the time for myself in the past. It's my "secret" recipe though technically it doesn't belong to me, got it off a television show. However, I feel particularly attached to it because no one usually cooks food this way. It has only TWO ingredients and is cooked without any oil as seriously, chicken skin-on is fatty enough, over the right flame, it's oil juices can produce enough to cook with!

Everyone enjoyed it and I felt so accomplished. It took me about an hour to prepare all of it. It is important that the people around you love and appreciate you for who you are. I know my family finds it tough to as well and are not used to this "health-change" of mine. That doesn't give me any reason at all to give it up. I love myself, I love that I enjoy simple and pure flavors like boiled vegetables and steamed food.

Moving on...................................

Some CHARACTERISTICS OF TEA that I have understood through self-testing.

It is probably your best form of detox (tea without milk, little/no sugar)
Most effective are green tea and black tea, straight up sugar-less
Teas with caffeine are best taken 2 hours after your meal coupled with some walking to aid digestion
Caffeine-free teas like rooibos red/green, chamomile, herbal blends are best taken ANYTIME!
If you have a relatively fine digestive system, tea should help cleanse your body after every meal

These are some points I've realized that aid in my detox. Why detox everyday? Because we put food in (sometimes unhealthy), because we breathe in pollution and accumulate free radicals.... I am not saying that we ought to go on harsh cleansing diets or products. Rather, gentle detox with the help of teas, certain foods, natural vitamins and liquids will go a long way with your digestive system. After finishing half a bottle of Chlorophyll and quite a few bottles of pure aloe vera juice, I'm starting to reap the benefits. Hooray!

Tomorrow there is more festive eating to come but I shall fret not because I do not binge eat now. The victory is already half-won! Fantastic!

xoxo. God bless.

Seafolly me

2012-01-21T23:45:00.000-08:00

I have been hooked these days. Who are these girls? Why do I want to be like them? Because they are so everyday. I love how they look so normal and not photo-edited. I simply love it! Part of Seafolly, an Australian swim wear label, these girls simply shine to me. Embrace yourself!

Skinny has become so passe. I used to love being skinny, when I was. Though I could afford to lose some minor kilos, I'm learning to embrace more. It really is different when you wear a particular clothing and it is tight but you say, "well I guess this isn't meant for me after all" and chuck it back on the racks. You're not allowing how you look to be dictated by the clothes you choose, but you create your own unique look of how the clothes suit your body.

Very daringly, and well, this is me. Yes, I'm not a Seafolly model like the one you see below, though I still aspire to be as I find them so trim and toned, but I can live with this; me. No one will love you any more than yourself. If you choose to pick at little things and be unhappy about it, chances are, you're just going to lead a very unhappy life.

On the food note, I have been eating a lot, but that said, more meals than snacks. A lot of rice to substitute my absence of meat (except seafood). But it is really simple. My body detoxes pretty easily these days, so long as I do not put junk in it. Wait.. junk? What really is junk?

Most people should perceive that JUNK=MCDONALDS . That is partially correct. JUNK to me can just mean a bowl of wanton noodles. Why, why the MSG, salt, flavorings etc? It chokes my body system like choked pipes. I hate that feeling. So I constantly seek to cleanse myself everyday. Exercising when I can, doses of pure aloe vera as well as chlorophyll, cleansing herbal teas....

Okay, I admit, for an onlooker's view, it isn't easy being me. I'm probably close to something alien-like. But if you truly understood concepts like I do, then it isn't tough or even inconvenient at all. True friends should accept you. As my life carries on, I'm starting to realize who these accepting friends of mine are, who aren't. Bittersweet and I am just going to continue being me. I don't need people to love me for who I am NOT.

xoxo. God bless.

Make a plan, take a step

2012-01-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

I have been eating and blessed to have an abundance of food. But it takes discipline. Yes, women have their ravenous days. Still! That isn't any excuse to overindulge. The thing for me is to always keep my portions minimal. I have a small stomach, so sometimes when I say I overeat and people look at me they think it is fine, but I'm almost perishing on the inside. Gastric has been bad the past two days, under control with the aid of natural ginger tea.

I hadn't eaten much the whole day of yesterday so I totally over-ordered while having dinner by myself at Sushi Tei in the early evening. A whole big plate of pan-fried garlic vegetables, another big plate of vegetable tempura and a bowl of rice. I even had snacks after this. My stomach was stretched so badly it took me a few hours to focus off the pain and nausea and sleep because I had to be up at 6am.

I realized better than having fruits for breakfast, vegetables are a whole lot more beneficial. Vegetables are really filling and they don't leave you hungry for more. Selected fruits such as bananas and papayas on the other hand, can build up an appetite and induce food cravings even though they are filling. This is a preference definitely because we are just taught to eat sweet or starchy things in the morning, cereals, noodles and what have you. Vegetables for breakfast also speeds up the detoxification process in the morning! Double bonus. I love how my body had been so efficient at detox these days. Just the past two days might have killed the rhythm as I've stuffed quite a fair bit of crap in my tummy.

I've came across a real interesting article over here. LiveStrong has really good articles. It challenges the saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I do agree to a certain extent how we should not obsess over these "positive notions". Yet conversely, breakfast or whatever you call it, the FIRST MEAL of the day is essential. Sometimes I wake up at 11am these days, so unholy, I know, ha! If I leave the house on an empty stomach, I'm sure to over-order later on, not necessarily binge which hasn't happened till the past 2 days. So have something simple. Maybe a bowl of soup with plain rice, perhaps stir fry or boiled vegetables if you'd like, or a good shake. Something to fill you up 50-60%. This works for me!

_______________________________

While I have been busy, a lot of my time has been spending with kids. Mostly my Montessori kids that I am currently teaching, my God-nephew Aden (below) and my own nephew Caleb. The emptiness within me, the sense of loss and perhaps humiliation just builds in me through different moments of the day. But these kids, they make a world of a difference. They love me and would just throw me a smile, a hug or simply hold my hand just because they are glad to have me around them. Children are just so genuine and because of that, they are incredibly precious.

Here's a quote I came about...

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” - Gillian Anderson

I wonder what people think of it? I am a straight-forward person. I'd think that if things were meant to be, why wait? If you have known each other for so long, what difference would maybe a few months or years make? Lets just say I have my cards set out for me already. I know where I am heading and it is not easy. I am refusing to open up to anybody about this, and just closing the matter for my own views. It is hard because people are people, they judge or have comments to say which sometimes pricks.

There are things I'd do right now but am holding back. Emotions I'd like to convey but restraining myself. All I need now is dignity and pride. The confidence to flip my hair and turn back at you, so you'll just say 'whoa'. I have been a soft person for a little too long when it comes to love. It is my time, now.

xoxo. God bless.

Keeping up with health

2012-01-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

Ola! I've been doing some thinking recently....

HOW DO WE KEEP HEALTHY IN THE LONG RUN?

It is the toughest thing to do. I love to feel re-charged and energized, but I've grown to dislike mundane things. These things represented me, now I've changed. I don't like to have oatmeal for breakfast every single morning. I want to have my full-fat cake and eat it too, sometimes. How am I going to cope with it all? My weight has once again increased because I'm still meandering through, trying to experiment with different things. Thankfully, in a short amount of time (about a week), I've come up with a conclusion... for now.

1. Enjoy going out with your family and friends (pic below: broddy and me).

They may not make the best choices, but you can! And when I put it upon myself to MAKE A DIFFERENCE in people's lives when it comes to health, eating with them gives me a bigger "stage" to showcase my knowledge as well as discipline my own choices.

2. Treat yourself, and I don't mean that overloaded hamburger!

I have grown a love for chocolate of late. It's great because chocolate is said to release endorphins in our bodies, not only that, it has health benefits too. The best brand I've finally sourced is Venchi, found at the basement food hall of Takashimaya. I only love DARK chocolate and pure white chocolate. So these that I bought include a mix of various dark chocolates (75% to 85%) from their 'healthy heart range' and a small amount of pure white chocolate from their 'specialty range'.

3. Eat your greens/ fruits FIRST thing of the day.

The abundance of nutrients in your fruits and veggies get absorbed BEST on an empty stomach. It passes through your digestive system really quickly and FUELS (fills) you up. I had this plain salad wit balsamic and a multi grain roll the other day for a first meal. It works wonders on the body. Even if you don't love fruits and veggies, just do it, these things can be accustomed to, really!

4. Always choose healthier alternatives even when there's none.

What do I mean? Your body may be hungry and the house is filled with "great" carbs, fats and "delicious" things. Make a good choice. There is BOUND to be something healthier around. Today's lunch, I fixed me a wholemeal sandwich with a slice of WeightWatchers cheese, boiled broccoli atop a canned Korean jajjang (black bean paste) tuna. When I just didn't feel like eating the best Ezekiel bread, I do not have to resort to other "delicacies", I love wholemeal bread too, so while it isn't in my 'BEST FOOD' range, it sure beats the carbs from instant noodles.

5. Read, read and read labels!

Yes, trust none but yourself. Read the nutritional labels for fats, fiber, etc. When dining out, scan through your menu. You're paying for your food and putting it into your body, you have EVERY RIGHT to pick out the best. Keywords include: steamed, poached, baked and sometimes grilled. Look at this appalling text at the restaurant yesterday. "FRIED" and "HEALTHY CHOICE" obviously do not go together. Unless it is air-fried (fried without oil), you can be sure it's loaded with artery clogging fats. Imagine, we only need 2 tablespoons of olive oil a day. You cannot possibly use 2 tablespoons of it to deep-fry anything for nuts.

Being healthy is my personal conviction. I do not view it as a chore or a means to be slim. It is what is found in my body system that encourages me to always want the best for myself. Sometimes in life we can never get the things we want, or achieve the best in everything. But when it's just you and your body, surely there's a way about things!

xoxo. God bless.

Have a little bit of faith in me

2012-01-05T23:30:00.000-08:00

11am (Breakfast?) : 1 Ume Plum rice cracker + 1 banana
130pm (Lunch?) : Fresh pineapple orange juice
500pm (Snack) : 1 red apple
630pm (Dinner) : @ VeganBurg- Smoky bbq burger with seaweed fries and beetroot carrot juice
1030pm (Snack) : 4 Ume Plum rice crackers + 1 wasabi nori rice cracker

Highlighted in red are the unnecessary food intake.

I went to the gym today. Didn't do much. Just 3km on the treadmill and 5km on the stationery bike. About less than an hour in total. But it is a start. I felt great. While on the equipment, I realized I've had a lot of angst build up in me these 2 months. I've hurt very badly and it has been affecting me so much. It is eating me up. I need to get a grip and call a lifeline. Loving my body is going to keep me sane for awhile because it is the only body I've got.

Fruits on an empty stomach is always always good. Not acidic. Your body absorbs all that yummy nutrients and makes great use of it. Try to wait about 20 minutes before enjoying your meal. It helps to fill you up too so you eat less later on.

While I'm trying to shed the excess weight now, I'm going back to 'calories in, calories out'. Not going to count obsessively but I will take note of the nutritional values sheet. I love my body shape, but not the flab. It can get better or worse right now, and I choose better.

My girlies Sherlyn and Adeline came over to my place tonight for a last day of Christmas chill out. We exchanged gifts, chatted loads and I even cooked for Sherlyn who hadn't had her dinner after work! I was so nervous to be honest as people always ALWAYS stereotype me to whip up inedible food. Made a simple fried rice consisted of eggs, white rice, baby corn and vegetarian ham. Flavorings included reduced sodium soy sauce Japanese, pinch of sugar, sea salt, black pepper and oregano.

Adeline and I met up for dinner earlier at 6-ish in the evening. We went to VeganBurg. The place is good, vegan burgers as the name suggests. I've stopped eating fast food altogether for about 2 years now. So this is just a great find to substitute that. But of course vegan burger patties are always filled with sodium so, beware of that. Treating it as a treat would be good. I had the Smoky bbq grilled soy patty with tomato sauce in a organic rye burger bun with a side of seaweed fries and beetroot carrot juice. I chose beetroot and carrot to stabilize my stomach as I haven't officially eaten for the entire day.

______________________

Moving on if you're interested to continue reading on my life. I have a question...

How do you help somebody who doesn't seem to want to help themselves?

If you'd ask me, I'd just say quit it. He/ she is not deserving of ANY help. But God really hits me bad this time round. I thought after everything that has happened with this certain someone, I could just leave. I know my heart is weak and needs more loving from that person, yet it would be impossible. Running away eases the pain temporarily and allows me to feel less humiliated. I thought that is what God would want too, but no. He wants me to help that person. How? I am part of the issue in the first place.

Most people urged me to "move on". Am I going to just walk away from this mess like the other party may have chosen to? I don't wish to be the stronger person but why is God asking me to? Today, I made plans to apply for a job that requires frequent travelling, I planned to travel myself, leave certain places and things behind. Just when I thought I COULD do that.... God strikes me in the face with this.

¹³ Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

When you love someone, you will never leave them in the lurch. So why am I running away and choosing to abandon this person who I claim to love and care about? Even if this person choose avoidance, how do I wiggle and find a space or ground to make a difference? They say where God leads He provides, so I'm saying God, if You want me to get this done... lead me through it. 'Cos I cannot do any of it on my own. It is humiliating, honestly.

Then this song came to play. Bon Jovi's Have a little faith in me. It's as though I hear this still small voice within that friend of mine, asking me to have that little faith to believe in everything that we're going through. How can you hurt me and expect me continue standing here? I can be such a princess sometimes, but now, I'm everything BUT.

This song, the scriptures God has been throwing at me... all add up to one thing, to stay. God is asking me to stay. In Singapore, in Bethany, in my friend's life. I have yet to cast out my leaving plans until God shows me FOR SURE this is what He wants. 'Cos it is too painful to remain here. Every lyric of this song makes sense to my situation and if my friend would ask me of this, surely I would stay......

When the road gets dark and you can no longer see

Let my love throw a spark

Have a little faith in me

When the tears you cry are all you can believe

Give these loving arms a try

Have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me... have a little faith in me....

When your secret heart cannot speak easily

I say come here darling, from a whisper start

To have a little faith in me

When your back's against the wall

Just turn around and you will see

That I will catch, I will catch your fall

Just have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me... have a little faith in me....

'Cos I've been loving you for such a long time, girl

Expecting nothing in return

Except for you to have a little faith in me

You see that time, time is our friend

But for us there is no end

All you got to do is baby have a little faith in me

You see that I will hold you up, I will hold you up

All you got to do is baby have a little faith in me

You see that time, time is our friend

Have a little faith in me... have a little faith in me....

xoxo. God bless.

Changes

2012-01-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

Hello! Good day! It was such a busy day for me and I dare not imagine how I had NO time to eat till 6pm. It all started like this.

9am: Awake and realize I have so little time to shower and get ready

10am: Zoom out of the house and head to town

11am: Reach town and rush for my hair appointment

230pm: Finish my hair appointment and rush to Body Inc for my Ion detox therapy

305pm: Leave Body Inc and decided to do a little shopping at (Bebe) and (INC.)

500pm: Decide to throw my good friend a surprise visit while she was working

530pm: Leave my friend after chatting for awhile

550pm: Settle down at Jones the Grocer for dinner, my first meal of the day

I get so easily distracted when shopping comes about. So here is my new hair cut and color by a new hairstylist, Kenneth Goh! He is an old friend of mine from church. It is such a small world. I had no idea at all. It was so good to just see someone familiar and entrust my precious life a.k.a my hair, into his hands. He did not fail me :) Do you love my new hair? And new body? Check out my new body shape... kinda loving these dresses these days. I'm not skinny anymore and I'm okay with it. Just got to lose the flabby tummy.

So this was my dinner at Jones the Grocer. Green puhhhh-lease! Never can a day go by without greens. It's just wrong. Since it looks like a green mess (a delicious one actually), I've broken it down in text on the picture. I've also treated myself to 2 cookies after dinner from Jones the Grocer as well. I'm a sucker for teddy bear anything.

After I got home, good Lord, I munched on I think 7 or 8 packets of rice crackers. My throat has been dry the past week and now it just got worse! That's what not having breakfast does to you. It cultivates an unfathomable hunger. You don't know it or realize it, but clearly, your body does.

I was reading a magazine today at the salon and chanced across this health article. It said something like... "I truly started losing weight when I started eating". Seriously?! Yes! It is true. While we are being obsessed over calories or low-fat produce, we are completely neglecting our body's cravings and needs. Try treating yourself to a little something of your favorite every other day and see how your body loves you for it.

Don't say "NEVER" nor "FOREVER", these words do NOT exist in health terms. We change as our body changes. With that said, do not follow my eating habits or styles as it varies for every individual. I do not take meat other than seafood hence I do not feel the need to be satisfied with it. I prefer sweet nothings. So I work towards it in that expect.

xoxo. God bless!

All in a New Year's pig out

2012-01-02T23:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. I pigged out and hey, no biggy. Lets just get on with life because the food was all QUALITY food. I am not overstuffed now or on the verge of spilling my guts out so lets be grateful for that.

This is my dinner with friends Bibiana and Colin as well as Bibiana's son, Leor. We went to Original Sin at Holland Village, highly recommended by Bibiana. We love the marriage of simple ingredients and flavors.

First up, the 3 of us shared a salad of avocado, asparagus, mushroom, tomato, bocconcini, French beans, roasted pumpkin and mesclun in balsamic.

Next up, polenta! This was interesting as I've always yearned to know what polenta tasted like. It's corn meal by the way.

This was the most amazing of all! Savoury tart of mushroom, asparagus, ricotta and thyme.Notice how there are constant repeated ingredients? Well I believe this is so because they do not mass purchase a whole bulk of vegetables and re-use them. Instead they purchase in appropriate quantity and use them as creatively as they can. This is not only cost-effective but also very good ingredients management!

After dinner we had some mushroom pizza and tiramisu. Oh my goodness! PIG OUT! I was not hungry but I just joined Bibiana's cravings. But what's good is that the 3 of us shared every single thing so it makes it a lot better :) and more meaningful.

This was my breakfast. I woke up at 11am! Was supposed to go trekking with the cousin but she called in sick. Aw, hopes dashed at 6am! I was really looking forward to it.

This 100% pure blueberry juice is a seasonal item imported from Japan. Daddy got it for me from Takashimaya. It costs $38.00 for 500ml. It tastes like blueberries straight up! I love it.

My lunch. Instant food! My fridge is totally empty. I haven't been grocery shopping as when I browse through my schedule, it is lunch appointment, dinner appointment, etc. I haven't had any time to cook at all. So I settled for this organic vegetable porridge and 2 toaster cooked Korean rice cutlets (a staple in my freezer).

My sister nibbled some of the rice cutlet and told me to buy some for her next time. I really run out of ideas to convince people that healthy food is full on flavor and taste. My friend says I eat "bird food" and some others call me a goat 'cos I eat "grass". Life is more than just salads, you know? I just can only feel apologetic that people do not see the greener pastures in health. But it is okay, through me, I can make a difference!

Differences that I have made for 2011 is that.... my household no longer purchases white bread. It is wholemeal only! While wholemeal bread isn't THAT good itself, it is such an endearing change. See, I'm making a difference, one baby step at a time.

Don't worry if you are reluctant or despise my lifestyle, I am not going to charge in and change your life. You will see me, and you will change yourself if you value the things that make you- your body system and health.

xoxo. God bless.

What's in store for the New Year?

2012-01-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

I'm back! Happy new year! Blessed 2012! There is just SO much God has given me and I have taken in within the span of these 2 days I was on a "break".

First of all, in terms of health, the month of December is the epic worst of 2011. I have lost my voice today. Had beer and fish nuggets at midnight breaking into New Year. I have been a whole lot confused. I did not know where to go with my heart and mind. My body simply followed suit. I have a direction now, an appointed divine and if I should painfully add, TERRIBLY DIFFICULT direction. God is testing me this 2012. This endurance I must possess in order to 'reap the good harvest' (Galatians 6).

2012 will include a lot of brown rice, Ezekiel bread, VEGETABLES of all kinds-steamed, boiled, stir fry, raw, a great reduction in crackers, fried food (anything that affects the throat). This body is made for worship, and I have to maintain it as God would want me to. I am not a some holy-moly cow here, I am imperfect so that is why I HAVE to try harder. It's forward or no where else.

Today, I visited City Harvest Church. It was an impulse almost midnight decision to go there with my nutritionist and friend, Bibiana. We are unworthy, yet He keeps calling us to Him. I felt so spiritually nourished. So inspired by God's love for His people.

This song played during the worship. It spoke volumes to me. It hit me most at, "I choose to love just as You chose me...." how powerful is that. It is God's direction for me, to love. Even when in the face of rejection, hurt and sometimes ridicule, LOVE. Don't stop because He never did.

As I have mentioned umpteen times, my health, physical state of mind and heart is all intertwined with each other. It takes so much more to have restoration physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have my moments, of depression, of anger and hurt, hope and love. What is important is that in these moments, I remember God. The giver of life, who gives birth of dreams. The One who made me sing when people said I could never. The One who will do the work He promised. I believe that if I obey him this 2012, it will end in a very very special way for me. A tedious 12 months is will be but I will not give up.

Just as with spiritual things and matters of my heart, I will not give up on health. I still embrace a vegan lifestyle however that is not something I want to throw myself into right at this point in time. I will save the earth in my deeds of being environmentally conscious, I will save the earth in being His vessel to love.

Blessed blessed year ahead blog-o-sphere. I am going to be here this year, no more running away!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-30T01:50:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

I'll be taking or have been taking a blog break. It has been a bad December in terms of health with the bad sicknesses that keep pestering me. I attribute it to the festive eating. It's all linked that way. 2012 will be a life into the unknown. No timed meals, only eating when I'm hungry, etc. Most importantly, shedding some part of the 5kg that I have put on this year due to excessive binge eating.

I have bought a meal time table so I will be taking note of my food intake. The same old rule applies- calories in, calories out.

Note I'm still very consciously trying to cut off diary and eggs, derivations from animals. Personally I can't handle diary straight up anymore. Had cream soup, bubble tea and none of them held up too well in the tummy. Cakes are my toughest factor! As of meat, I'm sticking to my Pescetarian- SEAFOOD only diet. Of course not forgetting my much loved plant based and raw meals.

I'll be back in January which honestly isn't too far away... 2 days in fact!

Look out for me 'cos I'm coming! A whole new me. A new concept and refreshing lifestyle. I'm not a stick in the mud anymore! Sometimes I don't eat lunch, sometimes I have dinner at 8pm. I never thought this could happen to me, but as long as it doesn't happen often enough, I believe gastritis will be kept at bay. Though it is at work these days with silly fried foods and festive eating.

I wish the world all the best with health. We can never have more resolutions that those building up in our minds. What we can do is just to BE AWARE. Everyday, every spoonful of food makes that difference. It's either you're one spoon away or closer to your goal.

There are things in life we can NEVER control and that sucks. Fret not for your body is yours. You can determine what goes in, what nourishes and what works best. So be in control in that aspect and wonderful things will come your way!

xoxo. God bless!

See you in 2012~

2011-12-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have been missing. It has been a little over a week and I have FINALLY recovered from my flu and sore throat. It sounds minor but it was bad as I had so many things to do that required mega doses of energy and my voice too. I've braved through it all and I'm here, well again except with a lot of body fat on me. Being sick I hadn't the energy to cook, hence I've eaten more oil, salt and rubbish that I could have ever eaten in the week. On top of that, it is Christmas! That means even more munching and less home-cooked meals.

The end of 2011 is a roller coaster ride for me. There are things I am thankful for, yet at this point in time, the hurt I've received is clouding my vision. While I have never been an expressive person, I think it's time I face myself. Yesterday something happened, something hurtful, on the morning of Christmas. I was in such pain emotionally but I could never show it as it was a happy festive season. Who am I to weep and dampen the mood? I held it all in. I didn't eat yesterday. Had coffee during mid-day and forcefully ate rice and vegetables for dinner at my uncle's place. I refused to get out of bed this morning, my heart hurt, literally. I felt a tugging pain and I know my emotions were getting the better of me. I didn't want to face the world; reality.

It is all in a simple love story. One that I could possibly journal about and write a book. It is my love story. In fact I think I am going to, I'm going to take a walk down memory lane as everything happened years ago. I'm going to remember every little emotion I felt. I want to remember what made me love, hurt and cry. I gave everything I had this 2011. I have nothing left of me, when it comes to relationships of love. I have nothing left to give someone else, this is me. One day he will leave me for good, and when that happens, that part of me will be gone for good. There is no happy ending to this story. No hope, no love, no glory, no happy happy ending.

What will my diet be like this 2012? As my stomach is, my heart is- a mess. I can barely fine tune my emotions, likewise the food I eat. I have NOT been eating regularly. Sometimes nothing at all, sometimes too much. Everyday is a struggle. I need to find myself. I need to keep at it. I've never once given up saying, oh... don't matter, when it comes to health. I am still making conscious attempts EVERY SINGLE DAY and I guess that is something that really matters if health matters to you.

While on the note of this festive season, a blessed holly jolly Christmas to all!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-13T23:05:00.000-08:00

So there I VLOG-ed again! I'm really enjoying it for now, but I won't let it take over my written blog 'cos I love writing too! Today's VLOG is my typical rattle. It's usually some groundless banter in my mind, now it just feels good to let it out. Do you find me amusing? Or lame? Haha. I find myself, well, quite truthful. In today's VLOG I expose another weakness, my fatty tummy! It has been a problem that bugged me for years. Now it's just way too prominent. The jeans don't fit anymore in fact. Junk food, how I hate you so.

This was yesterday's dinner. White rice with sesame oil and black sesame seeds, vegetarian Taiwan mushroom floss and stir fry garlic broccoli and carrot. It was already VERY filling for me, but I still nommed so so much after that. My face has a huge red zit right now. It's the end of the world!! Just kidding!

So the renovation works were in progress. Now that it's up I just have more stuff to clear and yea. I feel good having a clean desk, work space, floor. Lets hope this keeps up. A clean desk is a sign of clear mind? Or so they say. I'm still bogged down emotionally.

Here is the mirror I've always ALWAYS wanted since my secondary school days. Parents went with me to Ikea to get all the stuff I needed to make it work, so there, TADA! Here's my Hollywood mirror of my dreams!

There's also a drilled in rack for my dresses, and night wear. Broke down my cabinet doors and turned it into a handbag space too.

Today I was at my grandma's at mid-afternoon place, didn't eat there as I was pretty full on lunch. Had a spelt English muffin with tofutti (dairy-free) cheese and less-sugar kaya plus a side of stir fry curry tomato and spinach.

Promises are not meant to be broken. While grandma was disappointed I didn't want to eat her fresh fish sambal that she purposely made for us, I promised her I'll have it at home. So I did, for dinner. It was delicious, as always. I don't fancy Indian food all that much, but grandma's is always the best! I had it drenched on top of boiled kai lan and a side of 2 sprouted grain Ezekial bread. I guess minor allowances as such add up to a filling meal.

Supper was the ultimate killer. Cooper and Mika went back today, my dearest Evie jie bought me some stuff from Tokyo. In the bag there was a box of Japanese sponge cheesecake and assorted Japanese traditional tea leaves. I downed the entire box of cheesecakes!! Don't believe me, catch the VLOG! Had Genmaicha (brown rice green tea) too which was lovely! The shops don't even make it this good.

It's okay to make allowances for ourselves every now and then. There are time we just NEED that particular flavor to satisfy us. I don't particularly crave for fried, oily food so I'm safe there. But I'm constantly craving buttery rich foods which clashes with my beliefs and body system as they often contain eggs an dairy. I'm stumbling, but with every fumble I just get round it more. Like I wonder, how does this cheesecake edify me? It does nothing except making me feel all icky the next morning. Then I'll stay away for awhile and the temptations come again.

Right now, I need love, lots of it. So I'm always having the urge to eat cookies and cakes which I link in my emotional state of mind to love. This is wrong. Fatty foods cannot give you love. I've expanded quite a fair bit (watch the VLOG!) and it doesn't matter. I'm always walking, keeping my steady pace. This race is mine to win!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-11T23:22:00.000-08:00

Whoopsy, caught an unglam moment. Of course this blog features honesty, straight up. No point trying to share a part of myself but concealing another. This is me, imperfect and flawed. Who isn't?

Snapped a quick shot of my breakfast this morning. A green monster! This was after I showered. Gulped down my breakfast while getting ready at the same time. The blend included banana, Sunwarrior vanilla protein, spinach and almond milk.

VLOG attempt take #2, ACTION!

Haha. I got really lazy after getting back in the evening. Not much food snaps so, gotta get to some talking. I'm totally and fully comfortable with being in front of the camera or talking to myself for the matter of fact. So making these VLOGS are so easy peasy and well, yea, straight up honesty. There's no pretense masked behind carefully thought up, typed out words.

In the end I did eat! A lot of rubbish again at night. Once the rubbish starts coming in, it is really hard to break the flow like that. Hard but not impossible. Monday always gives room for inspiration, being the start of a new week. So! I'm definitely getting my act together.

Sending the two babies Cooper and Mika back to their homes so that means more time on my hands for myself, although I am going to be missing them a great great deal. I'm thinking lots of outdoor stuff. Strolls in the park, outdoor outings, alone or with company. Probably alone.

Food stocked up in the fridge includes organic Chinese greens, low-acid roma tomatoes, frozen trans-fat free otak... Gonna have some clean eating with these. Bye bye junk food, you have served me so (un)well. You suck.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-10T20:43:00.000-08:00

Hello! Trying something new today, inserted at the end, my first ever VLOG (video blogging) for nomming to health. I guess sometimes we just need a real image to project who we are and how we are feeling. My regrets on the VLOG? Definitely the totally melted-away make-up and contact len-less eyes. I'm pretty vain, yes? Who cares. I just love feeling pretty.

So the morning started out with attempting to get life back on track. Sometimes we stray, especially during happy or moody times, festive seasons and such. Essentially, it is always ALWAYS trying and never giving up that will keep your walk with health a strong one. Never ever give up saying that your goal is way too far. Remember! Every single "ah, it's just a bag of chips", "a slice of butter cake won't do me harm" is just throwing you that much away from your goal. FATS=ADDICTIVE. The more you indulge, the more you crave. Bluntly put, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips. Hips don't lie, no they do not.

Had a blend of spinach, Sunwarrior raw chocolate protein (plant-based) and almond milk. It went down so well and keeps me satiated. The satiating factor does not merely lie in the taste, but also in how our body's nutrients are being satisfied. If we keep ignoring the call for energy which comes from good carbs like brown rice, we are surely setting ourselves up for a major binge in moments to come. Trust my words, I'm a 'been there, done that' when it comes to binge-eating.

Lunch was hurriedly put together. Stir fry bok choy with roma low acid tomatoes and garlic. Simple. With a side of vegetarian mushroom floss. I felt a bowl of rice would have been better, but didn't have time to cook it. I wish I knew where I could buy instant brown rice that cooks in a jiffy when placed in the microwave.

After being out an entire afternoon buying some small furnishings for my room currently in the process of spring cleaning. It is going to be a long tedious process, but I'm nearing the light! Dinner was true Chindian style. Daddy bought basmati nasi goreng (fried rice), grandma cooked her signature prawn sambal and of course I had a little me in it all, my boiled bak choy! After that I snacked on so much crackers I thought my senses had left me. Helper at home made some crackers in the afternoon and they are so delicious. One, two, maybe ten bites too many.

As you can see, my meals are becoming so much more, not only in quantity but in all levels of being spontaneous, less picky, etc. Nonetheless, I still stay true to my principles, no meat in the form of anything but seafood. No eggs and no dairy where possible. Sometimes I just overlook the eggs and dairy in the ingredient list. Life without unethical meat, ROCKS.

I have been baby-sitting two dogs, Cooper and Mika(below). They are here for about a week and a half, leaving on Monday. I've felt attached to them from the beginning before they even came to stay, but now.... I'm really going to miss them. But of course I know my precious LV is looking forward to having my time dedicated solely to him again. He's a jealous silly fool like that.

Here I present to you my very first VLOG. The week has been filled with ups and downs. More downs actually. None better than to have it expressed as such. Hope I'll have more to come. I can get lazy sometimes, oops!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

What my friends think of me......

Clarification: I don't just eat salad!!!!

More often than not, salad is one of the few healthier options you can find in menus. But of course if the restaurant serves poached or steamed fish in a clear sauce, why not?

Truth: I love eating heaps and piles of veggies!

Yes, that is true. I can eat an entire mountain of stir fry Chinese vegetables with a simple sides like brown rice, crackers and stuff. I love them Chinese or Western. Cooked or uncooked. My favorite is actually boiled, sometimes raw.

____________________________________

Moving along, I've fluctuated like crazy this past week. Between 41.5kg and 43.5kg. Sometimes I ate lunch at 4pm. It's ridiculous. I mean the timing is fine, but the fluctuations aren't. I haven't binged for a long time, not til yesterday and today. I woke up and for both mornings I ate an entire packet of roasted broad bean Japanese chips. Body felt icky. Ruined the stomach for the entire day, although I did eat other rubbish stuff later on in the day. What can I expect? I start off eating rubbish, it kinda carries on through the day.

Yet essentially, knowing when to stop is vital. I almost threw up today, in fact I still feel like throwing up. Oil doesn't sit too good with me. I'm sipping some aged ginger tea as I type.

Been up to spring cleaning the room. I feel it's a big step. It's as though I'm spring cleaning my life. That's the whole idea about DETOX that I read in the raw detox diet book. We don't just spring clean our diets and plates, but our surroundings, our emotions as well. This is how we are able to live in wellness, holistically.

What are you doing to spring clean certain things in your life? It may be removing it, or setting things in position. I'm generally okay, a strong willed person where I want to be, and helplessly weak at the same time. I do have a blind spot in my life, a part of me that never exudes strength or logic. Yes, they say pray to strengthen myself. The question is, do I want to be strong (in that area)? Or perhaps I just want to remain vulnerable.... Until I get that sorted out, it remains my blind spot.

I'm going to start food snapping all over again soon, so look out for it if you love my food snapping.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-12-03T21:33:00.000-08:00

PORTRAIT OF AN INFJ type personality

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

This is a test I did with my nutritionist and the outcome of my 'personality type'. It is 100% accurate and well, see, she was right, I am unique (rare) :)

2011-12-02T16:00:00.000-08:00

The week without meal-planning. Without much picture snapping. Goodness it has come to an end so quickly! I have to mention it was a good week. Am I still allowed to be known as a health blogger? I shall self qualify that! :D Because! I've got so much to share.

I've always placed great emphasis of being self-aware. This means noticing the food that we are putting into our bodies, understanding why we are doing so and then seeing how it feels in our body. Like, does ice-cream really make you happy?

Something happened this week for me. Something BIG. It's probably something I'd mark the date in my calender and remember it fifty years later. After that incident, I got mildly depressed, just for a bit. I didn't know what my values and principles were because I believed that I got them all messed up. I felt as though I've failed the people who trusted and believed in me. I let down my God. In a day it almost seemed as if the world came crashing down over me. I didn't regret, I just felt well, mildly guilty, if I should say so.

I went for my appointment at BodyInc with my nutritionist and we talked things out. Why would I share my problems with my nutritionist? I'm not crazy mind you. As some personality types (like mine), tend to have this whole body system that is intertwined with our mental and emotional state of mind. It is evident when I get very bad gastric when I am stressed or upset. I get anxiety attacks when I'm scared and stuff like that. So it was vital to thrash things out because for my mildly depressed day, I could barely swallow much. Life was a distant image.

We talked and brought reality to the table. Yes, I may have done something "wrong" in the eyes of a regular human who would judge me. But was that a plain mistake, or a beautiful disaster? I say the latter. After that incident, it is almost I have a HUGE rock lifted off my chest. I can breathe and see things in perspective for what it really is. I'm no longer saddled by tons of mind games I allowed my head to dabble in. If there is love in the things we do, be it good or bad, something beautiful was created out of it. It's how we choose to perceive it. After that incident, life is more beautiful. I am still me. I still hold the same values and principles. Full stop.

After that, I realized I craved clean simple very basic foods like, boiled broccoli, salads, brown rice. Nothing that is too drenched in flavor other than its own essence. It is as though my eyes were open to see the delicate things in life. I'm more comfortable with myself now. I look into the mirror and I love the body I see (although there's always room for improvement :) ).

Due to the week being rather personal, I am not at liberty to share anything but how my emotions and health are tangled together. It makes me realize that I have got to stop loading this body with unnecessary pain, guilt, hurt, anger or whatever it is. As our bodies retain this negative energy and it can lead us to crave for every single unhealthy food you can imagine. Of course discovering your body and understanding it is a process. I have come a long way. I do not binge eat anymore and I just feel that I love myself a lot better.

Just because we may not receive adequate love that we wish to, doesn't give us any excuse at all to "toxify" our bodies with negative emotions and food. Rather, it should be a motivation to love ourselves more. Because at the end of the day, we are our health's greatest friend. Your health lives in you and you have to align your thinking to that fact. Love life, and it will love you too.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

Hello! I have been missing. Seriously. Not just on this blog. From my home. From a life. Every single day compromises walking around town or some shopping area, spending money incessantly and coming home tired and lazy. It is everything but an ideal lifestyle. It's worrying.

This is what came in the mail couple of days back. My second iherb purchase. They have been so good so far. Really love the prompt efficiency and cheaper prices for U.S goods. I got the following.

- Raw kelp noodles

- Sunwarrior raw protein plant-based chocolate powder

- Raw nori sheets

- Liquid chlorophyll by De Souza

- French vanilla stevia powder

- Yogi teas (peach detox and sweet Thai delight)

Mummy got this bottled alkaline water and we've been drinking this everyday. Available at Cold Storage. The benefits of alkaline water is amazing. It does help with skin problems like eczema and my internal stomach and gastric problems.

I have been having breakfasts! This stopped the binge eating a great deal, other than GNC's supplement I'm taking to curb cravings. I always crave sweet comforting food which is usually what I have for breakfast. Now I tend to keep things raw and simple.Over here almond milk with raw buckwheat cocoa granola, cinnamon and a banana. Below, papaya in vanilla almond milk with wheat germ.

I've gone back to basics. Very simple flavors (and an empty fridge). Ezekial toast with tofutti cheese (vegan) and boiled green beans with mushroom floss. As well as boiled sweet potato with nuttelex butter. Simple flavors bring out the stronger cravings. Like chewy, salty, soft, sweet, etc.

My life has not been just mundane, I find myself a nuisance. Moments where my thoughts flee from me and I believe I'm not the only bored one. Note picture.

I think my life isn't at an all-time low and that is possibly a problem. It is not bad enough to make me feel like I should do something about it nor is it fantastic that I smile in contentment. I am appreciating good company. I wouldn't place my food desires at the top of the list anymore but instead I learn how to live with others and do the things they do while sticking to my principles. It makes sense because the world cannot always revolve us all the time. We have to just live and let live.

Growing, growing, I certainly am. Almost every morning I wake up feeling a little older. I used to believe and think this is the life I had always been looking forward to, but apparently as life has it, it isn't. I want a life. But this time things are different. I would like to share my life with someone. I would like to get close to my extended family members again in a deeper measure. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to know that when I am not here anymore, I have made things a little sweeter and better here. Is that even possible? In His name it sure is!

This week I have decided to stash my meal time planner JUST FOR THE WEEK. I might not live that long without it, jokes. I realized I can be hungry at weird times and totally not hungry at others. I'm letting my body plan my meals. We'll see how this goes.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

Ola! Check this out, Natural Black Mud Mask Soap. Sounds disgusting? Well if you HAVE to label it as "disgusting", then I'd have to say it is disgusting awesome! Bought this from RealFood cafe for $16.00. I've used it twice today and while there isn't much to comment yet, it doesn't try my skin out like most soaps do.

I had this for lunch the other day when I was feeling ravenous. I was at Salad Stop! at Novena square and craving badly for soba. I knew they had this item so it was a must-try kinda thing. Soba salad with raw vegetables like carrot and cabbage with excellent protein source of tofu and edamame. It came with a miso dressing. The dressing tasted a lot like my raw pad Thai dressing. Delicious! Since it's a to-go item, it makes it even more appealing while it sits on the refrigerated racks waiting to get grabbed off :)

Today was my Singtel Casting Call's finals. The search has ended for Singtel's next social media star. Did I win? Or did I not? If not, who won? All these to be published in the papers soon, so look out for it! I had a good time and gained experience that sitting around at home could never possibly have given me.

I knew I had a busy afternoon and even early evening ahead of me today. So I fixed up this heap of goodness. You may look at it and wonder, how do you even get full on this?! It's true. Sitting on that place is quinoa, boiled fresh sweet corn (off the cob!), mock bacon bits and a honey balsamic dressing with freshly grind black pepper.

Quinoa, an excellent source of protein. Relatively low in carbohydrates and packs a substantial amount of fiber. Unlike other grains, it is easily digested into our system and provides us with a satiating factor which leads our brains to signal that we're full. Not forgetting that we will not have any loss of energy and be able to sustain for quite awhile without the urge of any sugar rush.

It is a much better alternative to rice other than cous cous, millet and what have you. It cooks real quick in 15 minutes. You can use it just like you would with rice, make stir fry quinoa! In place of our regular fried rice. This is one mighty fine grain! All hail quinoa!

Some snap shots of today with my first ever bouquet of flowers :) I've always dreamed of receiving one but never did. Unromantic ex-boyfriends and maybe not so inspired friends (?). Haha! It is a closet wish really, to receive the 99 roses type of bouquet. Quite unimaginable to be honest but the day will come, hopefully!

This was the mid of the competition. Having a real load of fun there. Never put myself on such a big platform before. It really just lifts me off my feet to see how the industry rolls.

The top 15 finalists at the finals today. Who do you think is the winner? Was she deserving of $10,ooo and a hosting contract? Check out the papers by this week and you'll find out ;)

Till then, ..... eat mindfully and press on! I've fumbled and I'm picking myself up again. Health is never about a destination, it's a journey. One to embrace if I should add.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

A happy vegan ice cream face! My friend Sherlyn :) I brought her to my favorite Real Food cafe and she loved it. I love just spreading this goodness. If you wanna go, tell me, I'll bring you there and be most delighted to do so!

I had pure orange juice, organic brown fried rice and vegan cookies and cream ice cream mud pie. The dessert was uncalled for. Sometimes I just need to learn to say "no". Peer pressure ain't go no hold on me, desserts does!

What else have I been doing? Well... TONS of face masks. I am going through a 'getting my act right' phase. As the weight piles up on the hips and tummy, when jeans don't fit anymore, complexion gets out of control, sleep leaves you and stuff like that, .... you know it's high time to get your act together.

Let me say in all fairness and with tons of experience. It is tough. When your body is accustom to all the crap you've been putting in, all the food you've been overeating and the lifestyle you've been leading, change does not happen overnight. I am finding it so difficult but I don't believe in giving up. Because now I see the truth- about health, sustainability and living, how can I turn a blind eye? It's ridiculous.

Today I fixed myself a good lunch. I had overslept in the morning, rushed to church for music practice, and by the time I got home, I was quite hungry having not eaten since 7pm the night before. At around 1pm, I had this good clean lunch. Not 100% pure but hey, it was good. Pineapples with organic sweet chili, 2 slices of Ezekiel bread grilled with a slice of tofutti (dairy-free) cheese in the center, and a glass of BodyInc's home blend oxycha tea, an antioxidant blend.

Packed some tea to go and off I went, back to church to decorate the place for Christmas. Oh what a lovely season Christmas is! Indeed one to be jolly and fallala-ing! And this is Starbucks 2011 Christmas mug.

After church I went for a 90 minute spa appointment. Ever since my birthday, I got hooked. I'm going to try and make it weekly if possible. I did a body clear salt scrub which evens out the skin tone, had a hot bath and proceeded for an hour massage, Manual Lymphatic Drainage (MLD). Do google it and have a read about what it's about. It is so interesting how our body works. I know that my lymph nodes are not clear but have always been apprehensive about massages, especially MLD's as they can be quite costly and perhaps painful. But today was good, I'm trying out different treatments now and I'll see which works out the best, for detox purposes.

After the massage, I threw away my plan to come home and cook dinner. I was so hungry so I strolled over to the mall down the street and an obvious dinner, Japanese! Shin Kushiya. The food is really good. It is perfectly salty and in a nice kind of way, I guess they do use ajinomoto (MSG), but I feel they bring out the flavors really well. It isn't plain salty, and now two hours after dinner I'm not dehydrated so that means the salt or MSG used was in moderate or minimal amounts. So many more stuff I wanna try here. For tonight, I had a grilled salmon on top of mashed pumpkin salad and some simmered vegetables on the side. Good portion size for me :)

Some shots from yesterday. AH! Went for a close-door event at ZIRCA, Channel U's 10th anniversary party. Saw one of my favorite actor's and took a picture with him. Swoons! I have always found him charming and he really can act, in my opinion.

Of course the event was with none other than my good girlie, Sherlyn babe! We had loads of fun just chillin' and laughing.

Today I started on a new book called the kind diet by Alicia Silverstone. I'm absolutely loving it. I love how real she is because the struggles she has gone through and shared about are REAL. Why do I say so? 'Cos I am going through it too. It's hard to admit our embarrassing moments but she does a good job at it. I love her flair for writing and her ability to hold the reader's engagement with the book. So far so good, I've been highlighting so many points because I can't wait to share it. Basically it's all about being KIND to our health, to animals and the environment. Here's a quote to end this post off. Think about it, and let your thoughts provoke you.

"These days, we tend to think of being healthy as just getting through the day, making a living, or not dropping dead. We consider health the absence of disease. When symptoms do arise, we throw chemicals at them, hoping they will go away rather than looking for the underlying cause. This is modern medicine."

2011-11-17T22:57:00.000-08:00

Lets cover an interesting topic today. My nutritionist is taking a different approach with me, so here's some interesting stuff. By the way, all my meals were taken outdoors today :( No cooking, so much overloading.

Eden Sanctuary at China Square Central, shifted from Rochester Park. Love this place. It's clean and simple food. Delicious. I had this sauteed mushrooms with romaine and baby tomatoes on top of pita with hummus. Shared with mummy her minestrone soup and she forced me to eat half of her grilled asparagus topped fish. I was so full I might not have lived past that second, but I did. Dinner was worse, salmon belly miso soup with tons of soft shell crab maki sushi. Plus chocolates when I got home. It's like 120% full when ideally it should be 80%.

So what interesting thing shall we look through today? The energetics of food. Something I'm learning to understand as well. Hippocrates once said, "let food by thy medicine". In fact I'm about to cover a book entirely based around this quote. We'll get to that when I've digested it. In the meantime, lets see how we get this done.

Have we ever put food into our mouth thinking, how would this make me feel? Or eat with the intent to feel a certain way? Yes we understand chocolates make women happy, apparently. Ice-cream gives comfort. But these are just comfort foods we perceive to provide some kind of emotional aid. Often temporary and it never resolves ANY problems we might be having. If I have to give an analogy, it'll be something like, drinking will never drown your sorrows for they will still be there the next morning. Hence the saying, "you are what you eat," starts to apply in literal terms.

Some tips, we are feeling spacey, perhaps you feel lost or distant from life. It's somewhere I am right now and it does reflect in my meals. For instance, tons of wholemeal bread, zero cooking, last minute meal decisions. I don't know what I want in my meals, and my life. To better phrase that, I know what I want; to eat TONS of greens and develop a career in acting. However, it's the process that leaves me at a blank. So, I just grab "ready" options like wholemeal bread or whatever opportunities that may come may way. But is it what I really want? Or am I just settling?

To conquer this, my nutritionist suggested root vegetables. As root vegetables are grown from the ground unlike fruits that grow "in the air" on trees, they have the natural earthy characteristic about it. This can be translated by our bodies to give us and emotional aid of feeling grounded. Root vegetables include sweet potatoes, potatoes, carrots, parsnips and turnips. Whatever that grows from beneath the soils surface. So I guess I do need that to feel grounded. But never forget, healthy cooking methods are essentially. For root vegetables I like them steamed, roasted and baked. Stewing would work too. I don't believe in adding dairy to foods so don't asked me about baked potatoes with cheese and what not. A potato should taste like one, not a cow.

Of course coupled with root vegetables, God always helps to make us feel grounded and assured. I feel as though He is just there with me wherever I am these days. Anxiety levels gone down and He just brings me through great moments. I need more time with Him, what I'm doing now is simply not enough. He is great!

Hope this helps! As I type I'm actually asserting these points in my mind as well. So why not, help someone and myself at the same time.

xoxo.

God bless.

2011-11-16T22:40:00.000-08:00

Back here again, the blog feels more foreign now that I'm not here so often. I get frustrated at myself for not committing to this space I've created. This all is going to change. I need to learn to make time for everything, at least everything that's important!

A rush breakfast. Raw sweet corn "milk" shake.

This prop was part of my filming yesterday since I've made it through to the top 15 of Singtel's Casting call for the next social media star. Being there at the audition, I could tell I was totally different from the other girls. From personality to daily lifestyles, I didn't quite fit in. But we should never seek to be like the rest of the crowd, there is never anything wrong in being yourself, as long you know you are happy. So for my talent segment, I decided to just have fun with it, if I lose, I lose being myself and even if no one accepted me, I did :)

Got this drink from Eu yan sang. It's some fig tea, delicious and not too sweet. I still prefer the one I had at Bollywood veggies some time back.

A good filling dinner yesterday after an afternoon of filming. Boiled nai bai with goji berries and sweet chili sauce (organic), fresh baby tomatoes, black rice and vegetarian organic mushroom floss. I really love Chinese food but the regular restaurants or hawkers just put way too put seasonings, salt and MSG into their stuff. I don't care much for no added MSG, I care for NO MSG!

Went to Shangri-la hotel for lunch with the family the other day. I ate tons! But it was good as I chose the better lighter options. Full of flavor, low in fat. Just wonderful!

Oops, egg :( It was some default choice when dining Japanese. I love Tamago sushi,... but I know I shouldn't. I've cut of all chicken, pork, beef, lamb and what have you. Only eating seafood as a form of meat now. Have cut of all dairy as well. Just eggs that are sometimes just there in your face. But I'm cutting it off too as I move along.

Yasai soup. This is just a clear vegetable soup with dashi stock.
My love! Only the restaurants got it right. Salmon sashimi!

My mains was simmered cod in sweet sauce and a bowl of steaming hot Japanese white rice. I loved this dish! I'm going back to have it again, even if I'm by myself.

The total bill for four was $322+, daddy got me a Shangri-la membership so I can collect points when I eat there. Love my parents! This is my back view that broddy shot. Can you see I've gained weight? I'm fine with it just that I'm trying to reduce the size of my tummy, and hips. Other than that, all's cool. It has been rather stable now since I've cut down on sugar, cakes and high fat foods. Next I need good carbo like pumpkin, brown rice, sprouted bread that will help keep me fueled without the bulges.

An interesting thing I'm going to try and do with this block to keep the healthy magic alive, is to blog about foods. Before you raise your eyebrows, let me explain. Yes, I have been blogging about food all along. But this time, I want to treat food in a different measure, giving it an all rounded view. So with this, I will have to research and do tons of reading on my part. I love learning about it all anyway and never be selfish to keep knowledge to yourself :) So I hope people look forward to it as much as I am looking forward to it.

Getting my Blendtec tomorrow. So that means more goodies in the making, preferably raw!

xoxo.

God bless.

2011-11-13T23:57:00.000-08:00

The past week has been hectic. Few days leading up to my birthday, the big 2-1. All I can say that, it is finished! Hahaha, not trying to be Jesus or anything. Just that not only is it a huge weight of my shoulders, but an abundance of happiness, satisfaction and love. I couldn't have asked for anymore than what I felt and had.

Some random snap shots, which is something I've been doing a lot lately. Yay or nay?

Breakkie consisting of a banana, a persimmon, strawberries, raw chocolate vanilla bean honey and creamy PB. Hit the rooftop, this was great!

Bread from Paris. Artisan. Just an average 60 cents bread is so divine. Whatever Sunshine and others can barely hold a candle. Daddy got me this mini olive loaf. So good on it's own! I had it with French artichoke vegan pate, cherry tomatoes and balsamic creme.

Dinner at Sushi Tei. Ah, the ajinomoto detected in these foods. Almost every eatery in Singapore uses it or what we also know as MSG. It sucks, big time. Even foods purported as "healthy" like fishball noodles and porridge all include this outrageous secret ingredient. I had this vegetable miso soup. Delicious when eating, disastrous after. I was so thirsty!

Gossipgirl Evon came to stay over for 3 days and 2 nights so we spent tons of time together. I'm so happy to have a friend in her and I'll say it again and again. We went to this place in Vivo city called The Cellar Door, Room? Something along that lines. They had so many meat options I almost barfed but spotted some awesome vegan salads so we settled. Had 3 mini portions of salads and shared. I ate 3/4 of it as I was starving and she had noodles prior to our lunch.

So we had cous cous eggplant balsamic salad, roasted vegetables salad and mixed rice salad in a citrus sauce. She had her favorite English breakfast tea and I, earl grey. Ah, the caffeine got to me. I felt quite unwell after, even had a milk tummy upset. So no-go. Decaf green teas are the furthest I'll go. Decaf doesn't mean no caf (caffeine). It's just a very small almost insignificant amount of caffeine, like 5mg compared to the usual 20mg or more.

T'was it was the BIG DAY. Some sneak preview photos, the rest to be uploaded on my Facebook page.

My door gift was Weekender cookies from Cedele and so was my cake, Strawberry fields cake from Cedele too.

Dinner at RealFood cafe. I ate a lot! I hadn't eaten the entire day! Morning I was in a rush so I just drank tons of water and mid morning I had a mini cherry pie Larabar. Lunch was me picking on some stir fry vegetables, maybe 3 cauliflower florets and some watermelon, maybe 3 cubes. I went home and got dressed for dinner and had a banana and one of my Weekender cookies. So you would've guessed I was starving by dinner time. Had my favorite dumpling soup with a side of brown rice set of the day. Brown rice with cauliflower, grilled vegetables, blanched spinach and alfalfa sprouts.

Mummy was so happy to see me eat that much! Look how much my meal intake has increased! :) If you do check my figure out, it has changed, more fleshy definitely but it's a-okay. Just need to work on the "fat" parts which can expand real quickly like the hips. Clothes can conceal but a mirror don't lie!

My cake ordered last minute by daddy was a vegan ice-cream cake. Cookies and cream flavor. We shared it among all of us but obviously I ate most of it. Had my happy vegan ice-cream face on :D

Just to end it with a little note, this cute little girl had a photo taken with me so randomly. It kinda went like this....

Father: Look! A princess! Do you want to take a picture with her?

Daughter: Yes!! [claps her hands delightfully]

Obviously how could I say no? Such a sweetie pie.

I've been eating as you can see. Mornings have been relatively light with fruits, lunch semi-heavy and dinner the heaviest. However, having a heavy dinner means feeling full, just nice, not overly. So the night snacking habits has to stop if it works this way, unless of course I'm terribly hungry. To snack out of routine doesn't give the satisfaction snacking out of hunger brings. Ideally, the concept is simple. Eat when you're hungry BUT most importantly, KNOW WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY. 'Cos half of the time we think we are but there may be lingering thoughts or actions driving our behavior. Awareness... that's what it's all about. Take the time to find out who you are today!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

It's me in the house! Recently I have been putting more emphasis on food ingredients. These nitty gritty things.

Like how adding cucumber with a carbohydrate meal may help the carbo to digest and burn more efficiently.

Cucumber with raw chocolate vanilla bean honey and cinnamon.

Lunch at a new place. I've been actively sourcing out healthy eateries in Singapore. I'll list those that I've found at the end of this post. Definitely more to come. This is at Hilton hotel's Glow juice bar. It's a well-known health bar that has been around for ages but I've only just heard of it.

I had this Detox juice of apple, celery, beetroot and carrot.

This actually came out once in the newspaper and once in a magazine. Their vegetarian mushroom tofu burger. It came with vegetable chips, salad and enclosed in a sunflower seed bun with marinara sauce. So delicious and SO FILLING. I was about to burst. Tofu, soy rather, makes me very full very easily. The entire meal costs about 30 odd dollars. For the portion size and quality and location, I find it perfectly fine.

Today while I was out getting a manicure and pedicure, I had to make a convenient pit-stop for lunch. I love Hougang mall's Kopitiam vegetarian store. HOWEVER, many people get the wrong perceptions of vegetarian cuisine. There was a long queue at the stall, the longest in fact in the whole place. Why were the ordinary Singaporeans rushing to have vegetarian cuisine?

But of course! 3/4 of the food was either fried, battered, drenched in some salt-filled sauce and what have you. Hence it is vital not to be deceived by the word 'vegetarian'. If you had the regular mixed rice stall's food and ordered steamed fish, it's a much better option. I chose stewed pumpkin, stir fry bittergourd with beans and sweet and sour mock meat. Asked for less rice, as usual.

Found this raw lip balm at Four Seasons Organic Supermarket. Raw loving much? ;)

I came home and had dinner. Raw baby carrots, raw flackers in dill flavor, raw cherry tomatoes, French artichoke pate (dairy-free, vegan) and 2 slices of wholemeal bread with nuttelex and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar. So delicious. I call it sampling plate, doesn't it look like one?

So lets end this post on a more knowledgeable note that we should never be fooled by labels such as 'vegetarian' or 'organic'. They are normal foods just either omitting certain ingredients, or derived differently. The calorie count is often not much of a difference. So never overeat something touted to be "healthy". It's only healthy when you eat it like you are healthy.

LV is such a pig, sleeping the entire day. So here's some eateries I have discovered, embraced and loved.

RealFood cafe @ The Central (vegetarian, vegan)
Cedele (focuses on whole ingredients, vegetarian and vegan options)
Glow juice bar @ Hilton hotel (healthy cooking methods, vegetarian and vegan options)
LINS smoodees @ China square central (vegetarian, vegan, daily home-made food)
Green room cafe @ Aramsa spa (raw food with non-raw options, vegan)

So there!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-08T23:50:00.000-08:00

I haven't been in the mood for much. Out of the house before lunch, back late at night. Running birthday errands, meeting people up, window shopping and shopping, overeating and tons more. Life is passing me by and if the world were to end tomorrow I wonder what I would say I have been productive at these few days.

I have been eating out a lot! I try when I can for healthier alternatives. The ONLY meal I've put together was Sunday's breakfast. This "banana splitz" ! It's basically a banana with a kiwi, sprinkled in cinnamon, drenched in raw chocolate vanilla bean honey and topped of with a mini scoop of raw cacao bliss. Filling and satisfying. But my day never starts right without milk. I need to open my carton of almond milk, but that can only happen once I've finished my mixed vegetable juice that's sitting in the fridge, taking up the space of Mr. Almond breeze.

Lots of Green Room cafe eats. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

All the greens juice- cucumber, broccoli, spinach, vegetable powder, watercress and what have you. TONS of greens to replenish an under-nourished system. I can devour an entire bowl of vegetables at home, the servings outside (unless you order a salad) are very minimal for a day's worth of vegetables.

Raw rice paper samosa. This was brilliant. But really filling. I'll share it next time.

Same old raw strawberries and "cream" blend of strawberries, vanilla bean, cashews, beetroot, coconut juice and honey.

Raw rojak. A pickled sweet spicy sauce that mixed in well with the fruits and vegetables namely pineapple, cucumber, guava, star fruit and green apple. Topped off with my pick of PB vegan ice-cream. Green Room's vegan ice-cream is THE ONE. Not enough? I had 2 more scoops for dessert. 1 PB, 1 ginger tea.

Whenever I out squeeze out an hour in the early evening, I'd go to the park's exercise corner, cycling to and fro. I really enjoy myself and hate especially how I've barely the time now. Other stuff I do is brisk walking when I'm in town. It's barely brisk walking and NO ONE thinks you're weird. 'Cos over here, everyone's just so absorbed into the hustle and bustle of city life. No one relaxes. If you're on some slow relaxing pace and walking, people are just going to "tsk" you. Oh well, I love Singapore. Even if I may be the odd weirdo here.

I was starving over lunch today. Had to dye my hair and rush home to grab my wallet as I had forgotten it earlier, before rushing off again for lunch and meeting my friend to practice some stuff for my birthday. After which I went to settle the door gifts and run more errands. I reached home at 9-ish in the night.

Lunch pit-stop was at RealFood Cafe. I had a spinach carrot apple juice and a 'can't beet this burger'. So delicious and FILLING! It's vegan. A beetroot patty which I detected some potatoes, tons of onions, cucumber, carrot and millet. It was enclosed in a delightful home-made wholemeal bun, topped with avocado, tomato, onions and their special marinara sauce. Served with a small side salad in balsamic and olive oil. None of these are written on the menu, all based on my taste buds. God blessed me with them, I've been this picky little monster since I was a child.

Dinner pit-stop was at Isetan. I have been so stressed and have often mentioned to mummy, sis, broddy, twitter and even to myself that, "zomg I'm so stressed I just want to eat sushi and sashimi." And after a week this statement came to past. Salmon sashimi sushi and some other assorted sushi. I was so full. Two whole boxes of sushi, are you kidding? I'm so not kidding! I went on more errands and bought some delectable French delights from a wonderful French man at Thomson Plaza. Basically healthy pates made with organic ingredients. It's so wonderful to talk to people out of Singapore as they have a much more different perspective on food and how it gives us pleasure. I bought 3 bottles from him and while a bottle costs $17.00, he charged me $45.00 for 3. Do the math :)

I do agree I resent the fact that I am living in Singapore, away from a health-conscious community. I've taken this consciousness up another notch, while Singapore is still stuck here pretty much (indicates a mid-level).

Healthy isn't just about putting less salt, less oil, asking for "wholemeal" options.

Health is about sustainability, about loving the planet and having your body and environment love you in return.

Health is YOU. You are your health. If you put junk into yourself, well, it pretty much speaks of what you're filling your body with.

People are going to throw rocks at me but I'm very adamant in what I believe in. I do not believe in forcing others to act as I do as it is a very individualistic opinion. If you go vegan or become healthy for anything/one but yourself, the change isn't going to sustain for long. However, it is through my love for the planet that I hope people will see why it is important to eat, live and breathe health and wholesomeness. I AM NOT PERFECT, I am still trying. But it's because I'm moving towards a goal, I know I'm in a safe place. Ignorance isn't always bliss. Do you know the truth and choosing not to face up to it? Well, .... well.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-11-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for a week now. What have I been up to? Lets just say occasionally I felt energized and re-charged. Sometimes disappointed, and having real bad dark eye circles. What exactly have I been doing you may ask? Two words, finding myself. I've realized there were some things I could do, some I couldn't.

Dairy doesn't sit well with me at all! In the form of pure milk/ biscuits with cream etc.
I love green juices. It nourishes me and I don't feel ill or have bad cravings.
I cannot control eating at night when I'm in front of the TV (still working on it).
I've found the perfect health supplements to help my body function well.
Shopping makes me happy.
I don't have restricted meal times, I can eat when I'm hungry and I won't die.

Simply amazing facts that I've found out about myself. I had ups and downs. The binge stopped completely, only at night and those weren't even the STRONG cravings moment. It was just "oh, I'm here at the TV again.. so.... why not?" kinda thing. I need to stop it. I would love suggestions!

So here I go with some overviews of the week.

Met up with my best buds Kevin and Colin who has always been by my side since my secondary school years. People didn't like me then, I was mean, rude and repulsive. I didn't care for a thing in the world, unless I liked you. So most of the time, I'd have attracted back-stabbers. But these guys, plus a few more, stood by me and accepted me for who I was deep inside. Now 7 years later, our friendship is still going strong. Love them to bits and pieces.

That night with them, I had dinner at 930pm! Yes, no kidding. I usually have dinner at 5-ish, or 6pm. Fish and Co now dishes up healthy alternatives and portion sizes too! I'm so happy I have a new go-to eatery on my list. I had a smaller portion size of poached salmon with miso gravy and a size of garlic sauteed green beans. Yummy. Having tea keeps me full and satiated while washing down the food at the same time. So a chamomile tea it was. We hung till almost midnight and Kevin sent me home in his bike. First bike ride ever! Okay no, I had 2 before but not anything "official". As I took in the midnight cool breeze and empty roads, I've never felt more at peace with myself. My best bud, he is the best.

My nutritionist gave me Liz Lovely's vegan gluten-free cookies. I've heard how popular they were but they don't ship to Singapore. However her husband who resides in the States shipped them over to her. I love dense cookies. But we don't get that here, not anything healthy. Last night I had one for a bedtime snack. The Gingersnap. After which I binged on some crap like pandan bread and prawn crackers. Life can be so miserable at those moments. It is like why the hell would I allow myself to be hurt by the same man over and over again? That's why binge eating feels like. Frustrating and well, frustating.

I explored weird food combinations. Food I've not touched in years. KIMCHI. Bliss to me, is eating kimchi with steaming hot rice. Simple and satisfying. I did just that and I was happy as a lark. Nope, no gastric. I have been taking supplements like pure aloe vera juice which aids in healing the stomach wall lining. But as long as I don't revert to the old days of eating such strong food every single day, I'd do just fine. Trial and error is all it takes. And of course, during trail and error, the weight fluctuates like crazy. I go up an down putting on 2 kg and losing it just in a snap.

Found a newly built fitness corner in a park at my estate. It's a 10 minute cycle from my place. Great new exercise routine while my gym is under renovation till' end November. Kevin did teach me some stuff to do for an effective workout. My boy buddies Colin, Kevin and Ivan are all work out geniuses and they are good at it.

Fixed myself a 3 course set lunch which was perfect. Spinach honey blend. Cauliflower mash. Mini Larabar in apple pie. Life can be so simple sometimes. It's us who likes to make things complex.

Shopping and shopping. TONS of it. Two whole days, I mean W.H.O.L.E days of shopping. I shopped from morning to evening for two whole days. Some disappointments 'cos I couldn't fit into many clothes anymore. Weeps! I would never buy a bigger size. 'Cos I know as long as I stop binge-eating, the extra love handles, tummy etc will automatically vanish. It has minimized now that my binge-eating has minimized. But it isn't enough, it has to stop. So see, this beautiful enchanting blue dress could never look pretty on me with a tummy like that :(

More more more, give me more green juice! From LINS Smoodees. They are definitely the better ones around. A place which has a genuine passion for this planet.

Green juice of my own. I like making them thick. This had spinach, mango, Sunwarrior raw protein vanilla, raw cacao powder and vanilla stevia drops.

A LOT of eating outs. Tea Cosy at Plaza Singapura. I bought myself a soft toy from there, my new family and friend, Blue Sherbet. I had their Sakura green tea and a smoken salmon grilled prawn salad with a Vietnamese citrus dressing. With my sister and cousin.

Regular ion osmosis negative ion detox. The water became clearer! Reflecting my minimized binge eating and tons of green juice. Less yeast since I've almost completely cut out dairy. It used to be such a dark brown that I can't even see my feet. Now I can see them :)

More Green room hanging, even by myself. I live for raw. If only every day I could have good raw meals. But it is tough, seriously. This was their green grapefruit. It contains grapefruit, pomelo, spinach, chlo'raw'phyll (their home blend raw powder), honey and I think some hints of lime etc. It was good, real good. Bought home some stuff too (below).

I think as the saying going, you'll never know unless you try, does apply here. Perhaps in real life circumstances too. I am a person who restricts myself and disciplines myself very very strictly. Hence I do believe the binge also occurs as my body's form of rebellion. Now that I don't control myself AS much, the binge naturally subsides because I'm letting my body nourish and replenish itself naturally.

I have a long way more to go.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

My Iherb purchase list from the States. It has only been 3 days and it has arrived! Amazing much? I see my love for Iherb growing at a ridiculously rapid speed.

Well, I'm back! My dearest GG Evon stayed over for two days so I have been spending more time with her and less time with my laptop. Here are the overviews of some eats.

Basically I've been snacking a lot due to an increased appetite that every woman gets (you know why). I have tried to keep them healthy however I still don't particularly enjoy snacking. Unless it is fruits.

OIAJ. Oat bran in a jar breakfast with Spirutein vanilla protein powder, white chocolate wonderful PB, cinnamon and tons of vanilla almond milk.

Stir fry whole wheat penne pasta with zuchini and roma tomato with black pepper and Himalayan salt. I may have added a dash or two of some seasonings but I simply can't recall. This was a little on the bland side. It was an eat and run kinda meal, so didn't have time to care if the flavors set in and satisfied.

Went shopping with Evon. Tried some, bought some. Not this Egyptian goddess piece though. It's gorgeous but it ain't quite me.

Cedele dinner. Uncaptured wholemeal sunflower seed loaf shared by the two of us. I had this mini legumes and beetroot patties. Nice! Albeit a little oily.

Rocky road! Or is it rocky mountain? Whatever it is, I loved it. Saturday morning's breakfast. Raw. Baby carrots, buckwheat cocoa granola, cinnamon in vanilla almond milk.

Lunch. Mummy's mushroom rice with my cooked vegetable mix of kai lan, chye sim and capsicum. Just finishing up whatever's in the fridge. Mummy's signature honey fried chicken wings were at the far end, faraway from me. No unethical meat for me!

Evon and I headed to a DIOR Christmas event at Raffles hotel. I received some tickets from Isetan. Only 100 odd guests were able to attend. Front row seats for the gossipgirl and I :)

There was this unexpected catwalk competition which was opened to the floor with a maximum of 8 competitors. Evon and I rushed forward just for fun. It is so weird 'cos we are usually the passive and reserved individuals. I made it right up to the top after having walk 3 times down the same runway that the event's models had to walk. That was of course after a catwalk introductory lesson held by an instructor standing on my left in beige. The prize was more than $300 worth of DIOR SNOW's skin care range. With a $40 voucher I got their night cream from DIOR SNOW as well after the event, paid the remaining value of $105. We had so much fun! Headed to dinner after that. Cedele again! Yipee!

I had a vegetarian burger. Grilled beetroot patty with tomato, lettuce, avocado, chilli jam in my choice of golden pumpkin bread.

Today's lunch solo after church. I have always done things alone, I like it. But after having hung with Evon almost every other day for the past month or so, I have gotten so used to her company that I did feel a little empty. Not lacking just something was missing. I don't get close to people like that, it is my natural instinct to keep a certain level of distance because I know how attached I can get to things/ people. I miss Evon now that she has returned to her home in KL. We never know what the future brings and to find a true friend in her, make up on and off, is truly rare and precious.

I went to Green Room cafe. Yipee. Had all to myself a 3 course set lunch. I missed sharing food with Evon. See, I am just SO sentimental. I think of people all the time. Just that they never realize it.

1. Raw fresh corn miso soup topped with papaya salad and a side of "living" cracker.

2. Strawberries & cream. 100% raw with cashews, beet root, coconut juice and great stuff!

3. Vegan chocolate cocoa bean ice cream.

After lunch I shopped around AMK hub for about an hour and a half before catching the movie One Day that features Anne Hathaway. It was such a good show. Everything about it was so real. I felt like I was in her position in fact. We get caught sometimes, in the entanglement of friendships and love. Of fear and passion. I've never gotten myself fully out of the rut. When I do succeed at it, honestly, I'm wondering who I'll be. What kind of person would that make me? It was said. I cried at most parts and watching it by myself made me realize how much more the film meant to me.

Came home at 6ish in the evening, made some lame bowl. Raw food digested well, as usual. I was craving so badly for carbo. Too lazy to cook rice so whole wheat penne came into action again. With one smart dog link, vegan pesto and crumbs of the raw Kale chips I was chomping on while cooking. After that I had a slice of Amy's vegan chocolate cake and a cup of Yogi tea in green tea kombucha decaf flavor. I love kombucha!!! Just finished munching while blogging on a banana and 3 water biscuits. This week the binge has been steering clear. Although my food intake has increased, the binge hasn't occurred in a raging manner. Baby steps :)

It's on to a new week. November soon in fact. What am I going to do in the week? Probably settle all my birthday stuffs and get my hair done. Relax and get ready to be the happiest girl in the world on the 12 November 2011. Maybe catch One Day again? Nah, that'll be too upsetting. My life in film, tragic. I'm getting the DVD though. It's a worth-it buy.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

Before I get on to the much anticipated topic of the day, here's an interesting day.. food-wise. Breakfast was one beautiful pink guava with Kyoto grapes, sprinkled with date sugar and cinnamon. On the side honey spirulina mixed with pure aloe vera juice. Got a new magazine that the magazine store at Thomson Plaza brought in, health magazine of course. Really nice, read about a quarter of it so far.

By lunch I was madly craving for soup. Warm clear soup gives me this fuzzy feeling. One that represents love and home. Haven't been having soup on a regular basis compared to my daily dose in the past, as our soups are brewed with chicken bones and I don't eat them anymore hence it's hard to come up with Chinese soups. Now this ingredient saves the day. MISO! I found so many varieties of it. This on that I bought is sweet white miso. Subtle and fine in taste.

My white miso corn soup was cooked without stock using the corn cobs after de-corning it. Added in Japanese white sweet corn and organic chye sim (I almost sweat organic chye sim tastes better than those in the market). Seasonings were simple. A dash of Japnese reduced-sodium soy sauce and TONS of white pepper. On the side 4 pan fried tofu vegetable dumplings. This is my happy meal. I don't need no Mac's. I cooked a big pot of soup, had two large bowls of it and packed the remaining for broddy's lunch side.

My parents go to this great place for alternative treatment for general problems. Uncle Justin Morais was featured in the newspaper before but daddy and him knew each other much before that I presume. He uses machines; non-harmful, non-invasive, to help alleviate problems. They have been seeing him for a very long time but today after having much more interest in natural healing, I decided to take a look. Interesting concept and he highly advocates alkaline water. Mummy and daddy are swayed by him and we will be getting it :) It has so many benefits. Especially for gastric (me) and eczema (sister and broddy). Caught this sign on a door there. Ah, I love such straight up quotes.

Bought these two from a regular Fairprice. Look how the organic market is growing in Singapore! Excellent, simply splendid! Black rice and flax seed goji berry "powder".

Had some papaya in the late afternoon and for dinner I tried out this recipe off here. It's really great! You could omit the rice vinegar as I think Westerners like to use that for an "Asian" feel but we Asians don't use it most of the time. I loved how light but subtly flavorful this tasted. Baked tofu parcels with shitake and capsicum. I had it with black rice and a bit of my grandma's ikan bilis (anchovy) sambal. Okay I might have added a little more than that! Hahaha. Enjoyed myself although I did have slight gastric after that.

This is my night snack. I love Barbara's Snackimals! They come in 4 flavors. I've tried 3 so far. Oatmeal, peanut butter and snickerdoodle. My favorite at the moment is oatmeal followed by snickerdoodle. The peanut butter just didn't scream out like I wish it would. The last flavor is vanilla, can't wait to try it. These are pre-portioned packs so it makes the munching more manageable. Relatively fine sugar wise, so no sugar spike like I always get that leads to very very bad cravings.

So now it's down to THE topic, THE big reveal.... THE truth.

I have mentioned over-eating, binge-eating and my struggles with them. Tried different ways to overcoming them. Some backfired, some worked for a day or two. This morning I had my quiet moment with God. The day went by great. I think I really needed that moment of spiritual connection with Him.

The past 4 months have been so mad the first thing I do is to log on to the computer and check my work/emails etc. But I'm a morning person, I'm a 'I-need-to-start-my-day-right' kinda girl. What is "right" when God isn't in it? Call me overly-spiritual, holy or whatever. I NEED this peace that only God can give, the peace that surpasses all understanding. It will never be real unless you've felt it.

I was researching binge-eating the other day in desperate need of help as not only have I gained unnecessary weight, I've also gotten very emotionally unstable (as if my previous frailty wasn't bad enough), my meal plans were revolving around losing the weight that I've put on and I wasn't me. I hated myself every single second. Here I am now, finding this clip online that did EXACTLY what I did. No I am not kidding. 'Cept the last part where she eats out of her garbage, I don't do that. As I'm quite the bacteria-averse individual. But have a look and I wonder if my pain translates through. It did for me as I cried from the start to the end. No I didn't just cry, I wept. Because I saw this 'ugly person', I saw ME.

Yes I did say those exact words like, "okay now I need something salty." Seriously! After maybe tons of kaya bread and cakes I need salty? It's more like I need to STOP. It is a disorder in its own right. I am not bulimic as I don't purge out the food. I have had thoughts on it but it doesn't carry through as being an acid reflux patient, I fear the constant taste of acid at the back of my throat. So throwing up is something I am not only disgusted by but utterly fearful of.

Binge-eating is a nightmare. You get some kind of kick that you're "in control" at that point in time. For most part of my life I've never been in control. My grades sucked, most people either pretended to like me or didn't like me (I do have good friends though), the person I loved never loved me and I never got to pursue my passion and dreams. Neither did my dreams look for me. The silliest thing I could ever do was to think shoving comfort food into my mouth would be a form of "control". As I view it from hind sight, it's the complete absence of control. I once read, "we never have control over the things that happen in our life. But we are able to control what we eat and how we look. So why not make good use of it?" It makes so much sense to me now. I have so many emotional layers it isn't easy to rip them off but layer by layer will do it.

My nutritionist did point out that I may be lacking in some nutrients hence my body is always not feeling satisfied. She recommends that I drink lots of fresh green juices and blends to add these into my system. So more Green room cafe for me? I certainly think so!

I've wasted almost an entire year on binge-eating and have put on 4kg as of now. I feel so miserable but the only way to a healthy lifestyle is to... EAT HEALTHY. I do know the whole concept of it, I know how to go about it, I just need the discipline and focus. It's all about the bigger picture. I love how a good meal that is nutrient-packed makes me feel. I feel "light" and not easily worn out. My head is clearer and I am able to focus. At this point in my life now, there is nothing else I can have control over except to eliminate binge-eating. My God is greater than every possible thing in this universe. He is so good. He will be my strength.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

Okay! Run through with me today. I am not feeling particularly insightful but I do have points to drive across. In fact look out for tomorrow's post though as I'll be sharing something real personal that I'm bringing to the table. It's about time.

For some reviews over my meals, interesting stuff mainly. One heck of an awesome breakfast. Looks like baby food? Totally, NOT! Steamed Japanese pumpkin mashed in vanilla almond milk with cinnamon, maple syrup and vegan carob chips.

100% raw lunch. Raw "nacho cheeze" kale chips, raw dill flackers and my home-made raw parsnip sushi "rice". I loved it but ran out of nori sheets to roll them in. Found the recipe on a website and I'll share it the next time I make it 'cos I've seemingly misplaced the random envelope I scribbled the recipe on.

This was the wrong dinner! I was so bloated, lack of appetite and I just can't make right choices when I am not hungry. Ideally, we should not eat right? But then the gastric juices start excreting so it's so frustrating. I dumped a raw salad together of rocket, roma tomatoes in balsamic creme, Himalayan salt and black pepper. With a side of organic seaweed.

Why this meal was bad? I didn't nourish myself well. The idea here is... if you FAIL TO PLAN, you PLAN TO FAIL. I guess this is so prevalent in my meal plans now. I have noticed where the binges take place. Hence this led to a craving for dessert even though I was so full.

I had my grandma's coconut rice thingy, I don't know what it is but it's healthy and steamed. I dumped date and orange sugar on top. Like this wasn't enough, I went on to have Amy's vegan chocolate cake. I WAS FULL. I WAS FULL-ER than full but I just went on. More on this tomorrow. I'm going to make some comparisons to my former lifestyle as well as show you a completely REAL aspect of myself enacted through a video. No kidding.

So I woke up and I didn't feel too sluggish perhaps 'cos what I had eaten last night was considered in the "healthier" category than my normal binges on cream cookies and all. As I'm in the process of completely cutting out cheese and milk, it does help for me to look at cream cookies and butter cakes in a different life. Animals suffered to derive that. Well as with every new day I have new perspectives on eating.

........................................

I started the morning with my favorite new random drink combination. I just drink this whenever wherever. It's the honey spirulina concentrate mixed with warm water and aloe vera juice. I don't mean the commercial "aloe vera". This one's bought by daddy from Nature's farm. It's pure aloe vera, hence pretty bitter but lovely with the honey spirulina. Both aid in cleansing the digestive tract.

After which I went for a morning cycle. Got off my bike and did a walk through this park I rarely visit. I liked the idea that I barely knew where I was. Look at how beautiful the morning was, 7ish am. Because it is a public holiday today, the park was crowded! I would go there when it's quieter. I enjoyed myself. That is the most important thing.

Went to meet my bestest (hello) old friend for lunch. Treated her for her birthday which is tomorrow.

Jean-Phillippe Darcis was where we headed to as per chosen by Tika. I had this Waldorf salad which was refreshing but I absolutely felt nauseous with its lemon mayonnaise. I almost barf when I eat dairy now in fact. Tika has a flat white coffee with a Caesar salad.

After her boyfriend and I surprised her with a hotel stay at Marina Bay Sands hotel, I had to rush home to go for a Deepavali dinner at daddy's colleagues' place. It is none other than uncle mano! He has known me since I was born :) I love these nostalgic feelings I get.

They catered and we all know how unhealthy Indian food can be. There is always the usual spread of mutton, fish, chicken, pickled vegetables and rice. I am avoiding farmed animals now so I went with the briyani rice, spicy fish and pickled vegetables. All big on taste and not too good for gastric but I prayed before eating and believed God will let me have a good time. I loved the briyani the most, it is so light but filling. There was barely any trace of grease.

I'm just glad the day went by well. I can't wait to blog for tomorrow and that is something I'm going to face. It might not be anything I can fix immediately but I will do so systematically. I love this blog. It is doing wonders for me!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

There is going to be a BIG REVEAL in today's post so watch out!

I didn't have breakfast this morning as last night I nommed some amount of cookies that my sister's friends' mum had baked for Deepavali. It wasn't a small amount :( So, I'm a cause and effect kinda person. I made a mistake, I make up for it. Drank spirulina drink and tons of water to cleanse my body in the morning, went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical and some stationery bike.

QUESTION: Do you get bored while on the gym equipment? I get bored more often than tired.

I got home and fixed up a simple raw lunch. Flackers (flax seed crackers) with raw baby carrots and Artisana's raw cacao bliss. The flackers totally rock! I got the dill flavor and I will get another box when this is done. Which will be very soon.

After lunch I took these antioxidant supplement that I bought from RealFood cafe yesterday. It's acai berries, pure tabs. In it is a months' supply, just nice up till my birthday. I hope to have a good radiant complexion 'cos I've been looking so tired lately. Or have I been putting so much make-up that I don't recognize the make-up less me? Hmm.

I went to BodyInc in the afternoon and did some shopping in town. I bought a dress from Miss Selfridge that is bringing sexy back! I wonder what possessed me to do so. Some other stuff from Mango as well. After which I went over to Thomson Plaza's Fairprice Finest and did my weekly grocery shopping for vegetables (and magazines). This is what I came across around the fruit section. So cute little Halloween pumpkins.

Daddy fetched me and I went home to create a good dinner. Salad! 100% Western. I tend to mix my food about incorporating both Eastern and Western stuffs. But dinner was simple. Arugula leaves with low acid roma tomato, black olives and Sainsbury's goat feta cheese drizzled with fresh lime and balsamic creme and topped generously with freshly grind black pepper. I had it with a side of oat bites. I have always preferred sheep's feta over cow/goat. So this was a little hard to enjoy, but the flavors came together eventually. Ideally if daddy hadn't bought feta knowing I did like it, I wouldn't be eating any of such animal derivations.

After dinner I took the acai tabs and these as well that I bought from GNC at Thomson Plaza. It's from their natural range. Acidophilus, a digestive aid. While I always felt yogurt helped me a lot in digestion, I've cut out yogurt from my life now. At least when I can help it. So I got these to help give me the same effect. It is dairy-free.

So here is the BIG REVEAL. I have been moping on binge eating and gaining weight while people say otherwise. Here is it. Almost exactly a year ago, and now. October 2010 vs October 2011.

I feel there are pros and cons in both scenarios. Yes I have improved on my make-up skills of course, but this weight gain is very predominantly due to binge eating which I feel has no room in my life. So, I able looking to shed SOME weight but by weight I mean fat. The fat that lingers around after months and MONTHS of binge eating. I hope in the coming year 2012, I will be more ideal. Yet what us ideal? Nothing is. It's all a fragment of our imagination. I do know now where I want to be though. So health is my priority and like the saying is for God. Once we place it first, all else will fall into place (that includes my weight).

Health is a journey. Like life we face ups and downs. The idea is the master the concept and get on with life. Don't mope. If you're too thin, put on weight with proteins and carbo. If you're fat, lose the weight and X out those fatty things. If you're slim, maintain it and thank God everyday.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened within a short span of 3 days. Emotionally, physically. I have put on weight, very much. Many have told me how much better I look but staring at jeans (that I love) that don't fit makes me feel miserable and terrible. My family is making me feel terrible. I am making me feel miserable. What happens when you lose the joy that life once brought you? Where do you go from there?

Here again are random meal shots over the week. A delicious beyond words breakfast. I just did whatever food categories were in my head. Blended up carrots and then stirred in unsweetened vanilla almond milk and maple syrup. Topped with raw buckwheat cocoa granola and cinnamon. Wala, a raw breakfast that tasted like pumpkin pie. I'm not kidding!

Some random snaps. Got my "beautfying" contact lens. The feeling is almost akin to finding out the benefits of organic and vegan. Where have I been all my life without these guys?!

Lunch out at Hougang mall's Kopitiam. Bet someone would kill to hear me say that. It is true, I don't, ever, never dine in coffee shops. Don't question my state of mind, I just don't eat that way. There isn't a 'why?' This is a vegetarian store. I reckon they add MSG into their food because there wasn't any sign that says no MSG. I felt so cheated. But the food was relatively tasty. I had brown rice with black pepper mock meat and capsicum, stir fry mixed vegetables and a small side of chilli. The meal was good. I love how brown rice fills you up without having to end up in a food coma. Slow release of glucose.

I made another recipe. Finally! More cooking. Seldom now, since these days that I've been busy. This is a recipe for Vegan Cheeze sauce by my nutritionist. All the ingredients I used are captured. So simply, just whisk it up. Chee'z'e with the Z meaning, dairy-free and all. Vegan. So delicious. I had it over a simple heaping plate of steamed vegetables.

Supper. Sinfully indulgent. Goodness! I didn't realize I have been indulging every day. There has to be a balance somewhere. Anyway this was so good. Amy's organic vegan chocolate cake.

Some more random shots of me. I love me, I really do. I love who I have become. I love that my love for animals is now displayed on the table. I love them and I don't wish to eat them yet this is a slow gradual change. I still love sushi and seafood a tad bit too much.

I caught BLUE a mini concert at ION the other day. I have always always loved Blue. In fact, I used to dance in my room with the radio on blast mode, to the song none other than.. ALL RISE! It was therapeutic.. in fact I think I am in dire need of it. Shall blast it now!

While that's going on, here's a LATE dinner at Cedele with my sister and cousin. Check out their almost matching spectacles. They are complete weirdos. I had this awesome Gula Melaka Pandan cake. It is heaven. A marriage in heaven, more specifically. As well as caffeine-free green tea. I had a lighter dinner earlier on. Two vegetarian Vietnamese rice rolls take away from The Orange Lantern. So delicious.

So finally it's down to this, TODAY. Haha. I loved today, at least before I came home and another quarrel with the family followed suit. I wanna be vegan, they wanna overeat. There's just a thick (not fine) line between the two. Period.

So Sunday morning I woke up for a good 30 minutes brisk walk and then showered, had breakfast and went to church.

Lunch with GGs Sheila and Evon. Central at Clarke Quay. Love this place for good Asian stuff or even Western too. Most Asian food in Singapore just go crazy with MSG like it's their form of putting "love" into their cooking. At RealFood cafe, like its name suggests, you get straight up goodness. For lunch I had this dumpling soup (vegan) and added whole wheat ramen noodles to it. Delicious! Loved it!!!

After lunch I had Mugicha which is roasted barley tea. It is caffeine-free and aids in digestion. Loved the taste. While Evon got down to doing her assignment, Sheila left to run errands and I got down to my "assignment"; finishing up my books! I've bought way too many. Love them all!

Here are the three ladies of GossipGirls. The other two, missing in action.

I had an early dinner like 3 hours later! 'Cos we just sat there the entire day. Our bill in fact came up to more than $100! It's expensive given the fact their price range of food doesn't go beyond $12.00! Before dinner I had a digestive cleansing drink of carrot ginger pineapple. The carrot kinda overwhelms and I reckon that is why I love it more than usually ginger concoctions. Yummy. I would say it helped with keeping me satiated.

For dinner I ordered this grilled vegetable sandwich which was alright. Nice but after a couple more bites I'd give Cedele an edge over this. While it is packed with more varieties of vegetables, it doesn't taste that put together. I chose this home made artisan yeast-free rye sourdough.

Dessert was their Halloween special. Pumpkin pie vegan ice cream with PB caramel ice cream topped with cinnamon. It was French chocolate which I then changed to PB. I do take cocoa everything now and then but honestly, I'm not a big fan of it. While their ice cream has a thick consistency almost that of normal ice cream, I prefer Green room cafe's vegan ice cream. Evon said the same thing too.

All's well that ends well? Sometimes not. I got home and it was stress right smacked in my face. Most vegan/ health loving blogs that I read have families that support them and are with them every step of the way. Never mind that my family doesn't wish to embrace my love for health, sustainability and the planet. They don't even wish to help themselves with their health take turns at deterioration. I love them, I want the best for them. Don't they want the best for their lives too? Don't the love me too? How can people be ever so myopic. The world is facing such drastic effects due to our short-shortsightedness. How many more lives are going to be hurt with global warming? People just don't see the bigger picture don't they,... or am I too visionary aka farsighted?

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

So it goes like this..... the day I mean.

Breakfast, RAW and DELICIOUS. The average individual doesn't marry the two words together don't they? I had sliced zucchini in unsweetened almond milk with a drizzle of maple syrup and topped with raw buckwheat cocoa granola. A little sprinkle of cinnamon for me on top. Loving it! Zucchini, FYI, goes very well with cacao or carob and maple.

Bummed around the house in the morning and tried to look into a new dress sense. Literally DRESS sense. I can barely zip up most of my jeans now. It's the muffin top thanks to those late night binges on cookies and starchy food. I forgive myself and move on. By eating healthy regular meals, I'm sure the temporary bulge will settle down and I'll fit right back into my jeans. I develop new motivation every day.

I met GG Evon for lunch before going over to GG Sheila's place where we caught a movie, Eat Pray Love. Lunch at our favorite, SALAD STOP! We simply love that place. Why do people squeal at the idea of salads? I know a good friend of mine who does. He always says to me phrases like, "salad again!?" or "what did you have for lunch,...salad?". There's is an unspoken beauty within the art of salad making and Salad Stop! has got it all figured out.

Evon had the Jai Ho! wrap which she requested for a wholemeal wrap. In it was mixed greens, boiled potato, capsicum, cucumber, chickpeas, cherry tomato and tandoori chicken in a Indian yogurt spiced dressing. The starving victim added a clam chowder soup on the side. Haha. I love soups too, but I'm more of a clear soup person.

I felt like having a salad so I tried their new introduction which has a name ever so cute. Habibi salad! Habibi, I could say this world all day long. It was a mix of mixed greens, falafel (I LOVE), chickpeas, black olives, capsicums. pumpkin and cucumbers in Arabian spiced vinaigrette. It was awesome! My new favorite now in fact. Ain't nothing can steal falafel from me.

By the time I reached home it was 6ish so I got down to dinner. Raw sides of zucchini and baby carrots. I quarreled a little with my mum so before I starting letting my emotions rule I told myself fine, you wanna have kaya, HAVE IT! So a multi grain sandwich it was with less sugar kaya and nuttelex.

As I was dead tired yesterday, I completely unintentionally left out my buys at Brown rice paradise. Bibiana my nutritionist brought me there to take a look at some better brands and good food to include in my meals. I bought some, took note of some for my next trip when supplies run low.

Got some Flackers- flax crackers for broddy. He loves the crackers I've bought so far, all vegan. This time I'm pushing it a little and getting him raw crackers. Hope he likes them! He has been constantly asking me to prepare his meals for him and snacks too. I have been doing them as long as I'm home. Baby steps, I'll make my brother a healthy human!

Raw kale chips. We don't get kale here in Singapore. Most people in the blogosphere recommend kale for it's high nutritional stats. The closest we've got it probably spinach and kai lan.

More raw kale chips. I've tried this brand before and loved it. I love the effect raw food has on my body.

Kamut cakes and my raw buckwheat cocoa granola.

Himalayan pink salt, sweet white miso and Larabar's chocolate range of Jocalat in chocolate coffee flavor. My body doesn't sit too well with caffeine but dark chocolate is a good addition for the body so I'm rollin' with that. Moderation is key.

Some room stuff. My usual aromatherapy relaxation natural room spray and liquid. Two new ones recommended by their staff. Meyer's geranium scent and another aromatherapy in comforting vanilla. I LOVE the vanilla one. It smells like my jar of vanilla sugar.

My life has been busy. I don't even know how time is passing. I'm not looking forward to my 21st party, in fact, it's so bad that I don't even feel like celebrating it. Personally I like to do things myself and just get stuff done in my own timing with my own abilities. Now others are running the show for me because I believe they value my relationship with them (hopefully) as a sister, cousin, best-friend, good-friend and what have you. But sometimes it feels like it is an obligation than something they would want to do. I get frustrated thinking like this. As if I am bothering people. There's 3 weeks to the big day and well, nothing much is done. Whatever that has been settled are the things that I took upon myself to do. All I get is a lack of interest, other than my best-friend who has come up with many ideas for me.

In life we just inevitably find ourselves in such moments. Angst building up, frustration like a fury fire, helplessness and a severe case of insecurity. I never thought I'd say this but I'd like to stop pleasing and living for others for a while. I want to just be me.... I want to just be me.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

Running through the past few stress-filled, lack of sleep, weight gain and bloated days. I think stress is dominating my life and cramping my style now. NOT good.

Lunch today at Green Room Cafe. One that advocates mainly raw food, Balinese style. My nutritionist Bibiana buzzed me up and we decided to have lunch together and continue our lifelong mission at living healthily in a sustainable manner.

I had this warm (not raw) soup as my tummy wasn't feeling too good. Didn't wanna start off the day with anything cold. It tastes like... the Penang's assam laksa, just without the thirsty after effect due to an overload of MSG, salt, etc. This was clean on the palate and pleasing. With fresh crunchy vegetables, okra, corn and cherry tomatoes. Delish! I'd have this with rice the next time round.

For dessert we had vegan ice-cream. I've NEVER been much of an ice-cream fan, seriously! But vegan ice-cream is creeping its way into my heart. It's creamy yet not overwhelming. Made without the almost too generous dairy (milk, heavy cream) and eggs.

Some random meals over my busy life. The life with healthy meals but way too much snacking. Even if it's healthy gluten-free snacks. Other than my raw bars, I'm choosing to omit all forms of snack now. My theory- if I can't stop, don't start. Why? 'Cos when I tear open a bag of oreos, I do not eat one, two or three, I eat half a pack! No kidding.

Pan-fried tofu salad with romaine, baby carrots in balsamic creme sprinkled with nutritional yeast.

New Cold storage import bread from Silver Bird, wholemeal multi-grain. Sandwich of multi-grain bread with vegan pesto, low-acid roma tomato and avocado. YUMM!

Mummy bought me these. Panasonic's Ionizing hair-dryer and hair-straightener (which I use to curl my ends). Show me some positivity! Loving them so far, pretty good.

Stir fry white asparagus and romaine mix with a multi-grain sandwich of avocado and nuttlex. Awesome stir fry combination and so simple! Just a splash of Braggs liquid aminos, you could use reduced sodium soy sauce, shoyu etc. With TONS of grinded black pepper.

This is my cleansing drink. I had it first thing in the morning. Works like a gem. Have it in between meals too, when I feel like it. The taste is fine but not something I wanna keep having. Green powder made of almost 20 vegetables, mixed with honey spirulina concentrate and water.

While I am laying off the cookies and stuff, I'm trying to detoxify myself with what I had put in these past few weeks. Way too many PACKETS of cookies.

Tonight's dinner. Again the marvelous stir fry combination, this time I added parsnip. Multi-grain sandwich with Tofurkey vegan ham, vegan pesto and nuttelex.

"Butter" + pesto. Ooooh, yummy! KIMOCHI!

While I'm so tired and I need my rest. I just want to stress on our need to detoxify. Other than food, we come into contact with unclean air, radiation from laptops, hand phones and such. Hence we need to release these toxins that are accumulated in our body. NOT through off the shelf pills but through healthy methods like the following.

Raw food
Herbal teas
Moderate exercise
TONS of H20 (water)

Simple easy steps we can incorporate everyday. Start the day with fresh fruit or vegetable juice (FRESH not store bought) and wait at least 30 minutes before eating something else.

Sip on herbal teas throughout the days as your OTHER form of liquid that water.

Brisk walk if you're moving about from place to place. When sitting around the whole day, stand up every 30 minutes or so, do a silly dance or swing your arms and hips around. Even when watching TV during advertisement breaks. Never be stationery for long periods of time. Or so will the fat around your waist.

Take up the challenge to love yourself. You'll see after a week how much your body will love you back. I'm doing that now in fact, starting today!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

My flu is much better now. Slept without the air con as well as used some aromatherapy and drank LOTS of water. Then it was on to this morning. The sweltering heat here is driving me nuts. I had a simple breakfast before leaving to church for worship practice.

Oat bran cooked in unsweetened Almond breeze Vanilla, with unsweetened applesauce, a mashed in banana, maple syrup and cinnamon. Topped with unsweetened carob chips. A good tummy warming breakfast. I have been having solely fruits/tea for breakfasts the past week and I completely forgot how much I missed a good breakfast. It really got me geared up and brought me through the day. That makes me a walking advert for 'Eat your breakfast and have less cravings!'. It is true.

I went to United Square, my favorite Cedele outlet. Collected my Cedele card, yeeehaw! I'm a member now! I have not done anything more practical for myself this year than to apply for this card. I eat here at least twice to thrice a week if I can help it. So lunch today was their dairy-free Moroccan spiced carrot soup and toasted sesame two rice salad. The rice salad was a bit to bland for me, I still prefer their pumpkin water chestnut rice salad as well as their Thai rice salad. The soup, excellent, as always. My favorite Cedele soup in fact which I topped with parsley and black pepper today.

I ran some errands and got home by mid-afternoon. The heat was unbearable.. in fact, it's almost 8pm now and it is STILL HOT. Ridiculous I tell you. I was hungry at 5pm and I asked Mummy if I should grab a snack to hold me up till "dinner time" and she replied, "for what?! Already 5pm, just eat lah!" Haha. So I did.

Daddy bought garlic naan for me and I sampled it before deciding if I should have it. It was so garlic-y, which equates awesomeness! It wasn't oily and I didn't want to "deprive" myself. So more intuitive eating at work. Dinner served up a garlic naan and my own stir fry best-ever veggies, broccoli and purple cabbage. Seasoning included Bragg's liquid aminos, agave, Crisco butter flavored spray, black pepper and nutritional yeast. Yet another full on taste yet sugar, salt-free mix!

The sun hadn't set when I was about to eat, so.... look at that light gleaming in. As though God's smiling and telling me, good job.

Around 7-ish I got a little peckish and nope, no more ridiculous "oreos" gluten-free or not. No more cakes loaded with fats and .... artery clogging nonsense. Just something simple. A brown rice cake smeared with Carobella- a natural carob spread, and a sprinkle of sea salt. Whoopieee! I satisfied my craving without busting my waist line.

I'm not kidding. Most of my jeans are far too tight now. I've been avoiding them like plague.

I know I'm on my journey towards health because I think before I eat. I scan through an entire menu just to pick out something healthy and delicious. I get disgusting when I think of people throwing lard and oil into our local hawker cuisine. That's me, I've changed. I know I may never to be on the same "level" as some anymore; well in terms of food. But we live in our bodies for the rest of our lives and who are we to allow others to dictate, affect or influence how we want to love and appreciate our bodies. For it is, the temple of the living God. I use that to keep myself in check. God created me for His purposes, not mine to destroy.

There is a whole bigger picture out there and I will find some time to pen down my thoughts in this space when my head isn't aching as bad, and I'm not perspiring ridiculously.

Meanwhile, enjoy life! And have your breakfast!!!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

Hi! Body detrimental state stage 2. Other than gastric comes the common flu and ailments that go along with it. This is my body rejecting my "abuse" with junk food. This is me, learning my lesson.

Yesterday I caught Dealer's Choice by Pangdemonium for the second time and I'd definitely wanna catch it for a third if I had time, unfortunately, I don't. Stocked up on some Larabars and other raw bars too while I was out. I love my "gold bar" collection.

Well on to today, yesterday was yet another Overindulgent day. Pathetic, I was. This is lunch today. Real good whole foods. Little seasonings yet great on flavor. Cooked quinoa with a mashed garlic clove, Criso 0 calorie butter flavored spray, a dash of Bragg's liquid aminos and nutritional yeast. So here "cheezy" garlic quinoa, excellent! With a side of stir fry green beans and corn plus some mock bacon chips on the side for a crunch factor. Absolutely wonderful lunch.

The entire afternoon was spent in the living room with broddy. While he watched UK's X-factor and WWE on his handphone, I continued reading Eating Animals. It is getting immensely interesting I must say! I can be such a softie sometimes. Animals melt my heart.

Snacked on some dried mango, a red apple and drank tons of warm water. The cold kept getting the better of me. Nose like a running tap. Danced with LV in the front porch. Grooving does keep the sick feeling movin' (outta my soul).

I had an early dinner which consisted of stir fry kai lan with corn and a toaster baked vegan schnitzel. Ideally, most almost all of the time I omit salt and sugar from my cooking these days. I usually use low-sodium soy sauce for the salty taste and mirin, honey or agave for the sweet taste. I added a little sesame oil to dinner's stir fry and it took another dimension to the word flavorful with less. Chopped ginger would be excellent but I was too lazy to chop and ginger or garlic. After dinner I had 5 gluten, dairy and nut-free "oreos". Finished whatever's left to get my life back on track.

With my body's rejecting the bad treatment, it is so evident how much my body loves whole foods ever since I readjusted my system over the year. I just crave for crunchy veggies or steamed vegetables. I put zucchini in my oats and romaine with almond butter. It works excellent. Vegetables have great water content and hence it passes through out system really quickly. Natural detox if you ask me. So go on, load up on your vegetables, take a second serving. It sure wouldn't hurt.

More on the book Eating Animals soon, when I'm feeling better.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

MY STOMACH/BODY IS IN A STATE OF DETRIMENT.

You'll see why...

For breakfast I made something warm which rocked seriously! Warm mango cacao. Consisted of 1 small palm-sized Thai mango, unsweetened Almond breeze vanilla, raw cacao powder, maple syrup and cinnamon. Try it out, it is that good! I told myself to curb restrictions and that is a fine line between overindulging. I had 4 "oreos" that are gluten-free, dairy-free and nut-free together with breakfast.

After breakfast my stomach got to work. It slowly protested to the cookies being found in there as I had 3 cookies too last night before bedtime. The stomach felt queasy but I just didn't bother about it.

Daddy got home from London and he bought me some stuff. The most stuff are always for me as usual. These two made me particularly happy. Whole Foods Market Kensington's organic puffed rice cereal and organic oat bran. I can't wait to try these out. I didn't tell him what I wanted as I was mad stressed over school stuff, so he just bought these two out of his own accord.

Aside to these I have 2 packets of Greek sheep's feta cheese, 1 packet Turkey breast ham and 4 H&M tops. He told me he wanted to get me the new Elie Saab perfume but they didn't bring it in, so he'll check in Paris on his next trip. My daddy does show part of his love in the form of monetary means, but hey, I am so not complaining 'cos it works on me. I feel loved.

Lunch I was kind of hungry because my body was rejecting the food through detox measures (if you know what I mean). So I made something warm and healthy. A grilled wrap. This consisted of 2 mountain bread rice wraps, 1 roma tomato, romaine, nayonnaise, nutritional yeast and Tofurkey vegan ham. After grilling the wrap I drizzled a side of balsamic creme. Really love this stuff! It was supposed to be a heart but... oh well. Room for imagination?

After lunch I set off to school to meet fellow GG, Sheila, to talk to Curtin's staff about setting up a badminton club for the school. We were both school team players albeit eons ago. A simple snap before I left my place. With 2 days of adequate sleep, I feel that my skin is brighter, clearer and more rejuvenated. Sleep is our body's greatest skin therapy. I have been drinking tons of tea too, caffeine free and herbal of course.

I always ALWAYS get cuts or bruises unknowingly. Here's one.

After our meeting at school around 3-ish, I headed to town to run some errands and so coincidentally bumped into the other GG, Evon! I walked into Zara being tempted by this ballerina glittery skirt on the display window and she was right smack in front of me in Zara. Fate knows no limits. We moved about a little bit after that. Things I managed to get done today was give out 7 birthday invites! Also bought a Dorothy Perkins pair of boot cut jeans and collected my sistic tickets for Dealer's Choice and 萧敬腾 Jam Hsiao's 2012 World tour concert.

Evon and I sat down and Starbucks in the unforgivably cold weather and enjoyed a hot cuppa. I had their chamomile blend tea which... sucks. I am a Starbucks fan but this is insulting to chamomile. Evon had a hot latte.

I came home for dinner with the family but the food on my plate is never one in unison with them. On the way home my gastric intensified and I felt nauseous, which is a feeling I haven't felt in the longest time. It used to be such a familiar feeling yet now it's completely stranger to me. Feels terrible. I made my dinner immediately which was steamed Japanese white sweet corn, blanched Shanghai greens topped with stir fry shiitake mushrooms and a steamed smart dog.

After dinner I snacked, a lot! It wasn't good particularly because I am already having gastric and that would mean clear plain food with healing properties. I downed 1/3 pack of baked chicken biscuits, 7 oreos, 3 vanilla creme cookies and a slice of raisin bread. All these within 2 and a half hours while watching television. I felt terrible, really terrible as although they were "healthier" variances to normal snacking, but they still consisted highly of sugar and sat which is really bad for any gastric moment. I need a few days to rest and readjust my stomach system. Most of the time it takes up to a week.

Well, I believe this gastric is a result of my MONTH-LONG intensive binge eating "regime". I know this is a sign that my stomach can no longer have the energy to digest the foods and hence causing negative effects like dizziness, acid reflux, gastritis, nauseousness and the runs. It is that bad if you're asking me. I just sat there on the sofa and I thanked God, despite being in tremendous discomfort.

I told God in my mind that I am thankful He is still willing to hold me in His palm. He has always promised me great things for my life although sometimes I have to admit I am doubtful. Yet He has never once let me go. While some may eat like it's the end of the world and grow horizontally, or ruin their internal health system despite being slim, He never allows that to happen to me because He knows that my health and my body is part and parcel of His plan for me. I have to keep it in tip-top form so that He can use me to do His work. Call me unrealistic, I just know it. My God is a great God who does great things through weak people like myself.

So here dear body, I officially apologize to you. I apologize for all the junk I've been putting into you and all the work I've forced you to go overtime almost everyday. I will love you from now on and I hope in return we will work together as ONE BODY, literally. May my mind, heart and spirit be bind as team and receive great miracles from our creator the most amazing artist in the world. If I believe it, I can receive it.

Other than my great purpose that has yet to be brought about, I have my 21st birthday party in EXACTLY one month's time on the 12th of November. It is an ALL WHITE affair so I have been searching high and low for a white dress, a perfect one to match my character and personality. Tried many, searched online and all my attempts were futile...

But of course, I finally found one, which is in alteration right now to fit my body perfectly and it will go through further alterations with my cousin who will bring the dress to life. I thank everyone who has been helping me through this stressful period where I am panicking because I am such a control freak and worry wart. To all those who have been of actual help by making things happen and fall into place, as well as those who have been supporting me emotionally. I feel you and I am ever so thankful and blessed. Even for friends who have already singled out 12 November to be a free day at my disposal, I appreciate it in measures you'd never believe. I am a grateful person.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-11T22:30:00.000-07:00

After countless outside eating, I finally realize that enough is enough. I need whole foods to make me feel whole. Some outside eats, all at Cedele.

Grilled vegetables sandwich in plain rye bread. Yum!

Blueberry maple whole wheat cake. Nay.
Vegetable stacks on top of a potato cake.

Today's breakkie. After a good 12 hour hibernation from 9pm to 9am which made up for my loss of sleep in the past of 4 months. Felt so good upon waking. Had a good big bowl of breakfast. 1/2 a mango, 1 kiwi, 2 strawberries topped with cinnamon raisin swirl PB. Anyway if I have not already mentioned, I am an official graduate! Done with university, for good.

Lunch was attempting to copy Cedele. Haha not the same but excellent. Grilled baby carrot, baby eggplant and zucchini in olive oil, ground coriander, black pepper, sea salt and nutritional yeast. Stacked up and surrounded with fresh chopped roma tomato drizzled in balsamic creme that I got from this French shop called Little Provence. SO GOOD! I reckon it'll be good on desserts too as it has a sweeter tangy taste as compared to the regular balsamic vinegar.

Went to the gym at mid afternoon did a good 40 minute work out with moderate intensity. Dreadmill and elliptical.

Came home relaxed and got down to dinner. Lovely lovely dinner. Steamed fresh Japanese sweet white corn off the cob! Quinoa cooked in a mild 'cheezy' curry flavor made up of mild curry powder, sea salt and nutritional yeast with baby carrots. I loved dinner. It was filling and just what I needed after a workout. Quinoa fills you up and nourishes because it is high in protein and good for muscle repair after a workout.

Dessert was an 82% mini dark cacao square. Read up a little on my new book by Taiwanese artiste Jolin Tsai. I have always admired her physique and knows that she works out hard while eating a really healthy yet balanced diet. She loves cakes too. So it's gonna be interesting to find out some of her "secret" to being slim.

I'm glad I'm finally getting back on track. Eating out of home constantly is quite damaging to the health. Now that I'm going to be hanging and home, it's goooood for me and my body.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful Saturday if I should say so myself. My food digested well. I'm happy. What more could I possibly ask for?

Breakfast was 1 Lundberg sweet mochi flavor rice cake topped generously with cinnamon raisin swirl PB and surrounded by kiwi and strawberry. Delicious and filling.

At lunch I made this huge plate of roasted veggies for the family, including myself. Today's mix was Japanese baby eggplant, zucchini and Japanese shitake mushrooms in curry oregano seasoning (EVOO, mild curry powder, dried oregano, turmeric, sea salt, black pepper).

I also boiled Peter Rabbit's organic rice pasta (gluten-free) and made my own roasted vegetable pasta sauce by blending 1 fresh low-acid roma tomato with a tablespoon of roasted veggies.

After lunch, I had a treat of mini dark chocolate bar 82% cacao.

After lunch I hanged around my room for awhile before heading to the Drama Centre Theatre at the National Library to catch Dealer's Choice by Pandemonium. It is a play that originated in London and is now being re-done by Pangdemonium. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Yes, I went for the play by myself, sat the the third row from the front, by myself. No issue with that.

I have always always loved the theatre and acting scene. It is a very dear part of me in fact. Dealer's Choice reminded me of why I fell in love with stage drama when I acted in Bang Bang You're Dead for a school competition. The rapport between a close-knitted cast can never deceive any audience. These 6 men were outstanding. You knew they loved what they were doing, at least I could tell. Most Singaporeans were nodding away and closing their eyes during the play. How rude and insulting. You don't get the most expensive seat and have a nap, manners please!

At least I was awake throughout and enjoying every second of it. I do have a fascination with the gambling scene, a secret to none I know.

The play ended close to 6pm so I decided to go out for dinner instead of rushing home to cook. Attempting to beat the traffic would equate to attempting to beat my myself. So headed down to Clarke Quay's The Central and went to this organic food place called Real Food cafe. Always wanted to try it out but never really got around doing so.

I sat down, hungry, and scanned through the menu. Since my rice cooker has been down and I have been craving a good bowl of brown rice, I went with miso soup and a side bowl of brown rice. It was so good and filling. The soup had silken tofu, dried mushrooms, barley, wakame, chye sim, carrot and coriander. I wanted to have vegan ice cream after that but decided not to. It would be slightly towards binge-eating 'cos I checked myself and yea, I was full. Anyway, I told myself, the ice cream wasn't going to run away, I could come ANYTIME I felt like having it. So off to home I went, satisfied and nourished. Had some dried mango when I got back at 8pm.

Eating a balanced meal is important. Satisfying our cravings without overindulging. Now that's a tough call. As I like to have nice nutritious meals, I make sure I have them daily. At the same time I have a terrible sweet tooth for creamy sweet things, so I try to incorporate them into my meals too. Like PB and other nut butters. Now vegan ice cream has caught my eye.

Never like ice cream even as a kid. I don't usually take a liking to cold food other than sushi which usually isn't ice-cold anyway. But I love how smooth and straight up vegan ice cream tastes. You know you're getting good stuff. No heavy cream or egg yolks or even dairy!

One tip to curb binge-eating or overindulging is to have taste buds for food appreciation. Instead of rummaging through that chocolate bar or tub of ice cream, slow down. Take a bite, savor, relax and smile. God created so many beautiful things and that includes food. While we may appreciate nature and taking long strolls, the same concept can be applied to food. Have the heart to appreciate and be happy about it :)

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

My meals over the past 2 days have been ever so random. Random timings, random combinations. So unlike me. I plan things to a 'T' and being spontaneous isn't my thing. But lookey here, I have come quite far. I'm mildly spontaneous.

Yesterday's breakfast. Fresh strawberries, kiwi and honeysuckle topped with honey almond butter and cinnamon. Almost raw.

Yesterday's "3 course lunch". Haha! First, a bowl of raw baby carrots. Secondly, kaia foods raw barbeque flavored kale chips. Thirdly, go raw's raw chocolate brownie. 100% raw.

I met my GG Evon yesterday to have some serious talk about some issues and spend some time together. After that we proceeded out and while we stayed out till 6-ish in the evening (yes, past my dinner time!), I felt totally cool about in. In fact, I had lunch at 2-ish. See, spontaneous.

I did however buy dinner back as I wasn't sure what I would like to make when I went home. So a trusty choice of Cedele. I got the tofu nut salad with tahini dressing. It had vegetables and red rice in it as well. To just make it a little more fulfilling, I topped it with mock bacon chips and vegan pesto.

.....................

Today I got up and had some lame breakfast of coconut water, Kind bar, 2 Enjoy life sugar cookies. It was pathetic. I miss my oatmeal. But while I'm trying to cleanse my body now, I'm not quite sure if that is a perfect morning start. I do miss it however.

Got down to lunch before rushing off to school. Made Raw Pad Thai salad from The Raw Detox Diet book. It was sensational if I should say so myself. Brother loved it and I had mummy's nod of approval. Recipe below.

After school which was around 2pm, Evon and I headed to town to kill time. We ended up killing LOTS of it, haha. For a snack, I had this pure red grape juice from Takashimaya's Hokkaido fair. I love how they bring in genuine Japanese products. This mini bottle costs $9.70 and tastes like red wine! Liquids is always good for the body. Be it water, soup or juices.

We walked the entire afternoon away, got a Ted Baker handbag (!!!) and I decided to head down to Brown Rice Paradise to get nutritional yeast. It is a substitute in cooking to attain that cheese-like flavor. Currently I'm starting to move away from things like eggs, dairy, yogurt, cheese and all these things that come from animals. I think it is a growing appreciation for animals and their rights. A love for nature and all things that come under it. A little more vegan in me, but I'm still me :)

Bought some other stuff there too. Raw cacao butter that comes in sachets, dark chocolate caramel cups, dairy and gluten-free "oreos" and from Petit Provenance, this little French store, I got balsamic cream. It is something new and I'm excited to try it!

We then had dinner at Cedele. See here's the thing. I wanted to have a sandwich but they ran out of my favorite choices of bread (pumpkin/wholemeal linseed). At the same time I wanted something sweet. I'm just conflicted like that.

Usually if I do not ascertain my taste buds well enough, I do notice that the binge monster emerges. I believe this is because my palate is not satisfied. Hence why I've stocked up on some pre-portioned dark chocolate. The raw book really recommends it as a phenomenal after-dinner snack and I do say so myself. I like how it isn't like regular milk chocolate, which I hate.

So after much contemplation I went ahead and ordered the legendary carrot cake which is supposedly the best in Singapore, and a side of chamomile tea. I asked them to warm the cake up for me. Took a bite and did some thinking. It was, nice. That is the word. Not heavenly or sensational. It was pleasing. Let me break it down here.

Daddy often buys cakes from all over the world, more often at London. They aren't any "specialized" cakes just the normal fruit/butter/cream cakes off Sainsburys counter. This carrot cake had some similar qualities in bite and flavor. Although London does have a fair advantage in it's richness. On hind sight, if regular Singaporeans haven't tasted these cakes from London, I reckon that Cedele's carrot cake being able to match up to their standards in words of a cake princess (ME), I'd say they are good for all to love.

Secondly, the layers of cream cheese did not entice me as much as I thought it would. I tasted... milk, I tasted... cow. Yes, Cedele does use selective organic ingredients for their baking, however, it's the idea that... lets just not dig deeper. I know people will get what I mean. In the name of veganism.

On to a happier note, lets end off with this best ever salad and its absolutely outstanding recipe. This is the tweaked version. I'm not at liberty to share an exact recipe from a copyrighted book.

Raw pad thai salad with a raw nut sauce

serves four

Raw, dairy-free, vegan

For the sauce:

1/2 cup raw almond butter (I used Marantha's)

1 1/2 tablespoon reduce sodium shoyu

1 tablespoon fresh ginger, chopped

2 tablespoon pure maple syrup

2 teaspoon sesame oil

2 tablespoon fresh lime juice (Juice of 3 small limes)

1/4 cup filtered water

Throw these guys into the blender and blend on high till fully combined. Should keep in the fridge for 2-3 days. Great for dipping/pouring on noodles etc.

For the salad:

3 cups organic purple cabbage (organic=pesticide free=safe for raw)

2 medium organic zucchini, sliced and chopped lengthwise

Organic romaine, chopped (as much as you want)

1 large carrot sliced and chopped lengthwise (I omitted this as I ran out of carrots)

A handful of fresh sweet basil, chopped

Toss the raw vegetables together and add the raw sauce over for a lip-smacking sensational lunch. You gotta taste it to believe it!

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

Hola! Blogging first thing in the morning? Well I am! The past 5 days has been consisting of feasts, whether intentional or not. I feel so miserable because even though I have been exercising, but my stomach has surely been expanding. I can no longer fit into my jeans, it is THAT bad. So I'm sticking to dresses for now. I will NOT buy jeans of a larger size because it would be ridiculous.

In fact, today, the 5th of October is my sister's and daddy's birthday. So what does that mean? MORE food! I used to excited for occasions like these, but no longer. It is painful to sit in a restaurant, stare at the menu and go, I can't order this, I don't wanna eat that. I'd pack my food but it might dampen the mood a little. So... what do we do when that happens?

Here are some tips on eating outside/with friends and family. Some are inspired from books, some based on personal experience.

TIPS ON EATING OUT WITH COMPANY

Play word search and find the safe words! Poached, steamed, boiled and baked. Grilled should be the last option. Sounds appalling? Well, I think of it this way. If foods have to be cooked so lightly, they had better be fresh as there will not be an heavy dressing to make up for the lack of freshness. You get to enjoy the pure natural flavor of the food, as nature intended.
My GG Evon and I love to share our food. This way, we get to order a side dish, a main dish and a dessert without feeling like it is the end of the world after our meals. Happy belly, happy pockets too!
Always ALWAYS ask for dressings/sauces on the side. You'll realize that you do not actually need as much that is given. Taste the dish without the dressing first, it is surprisingly flavorful sometimes.
When with friends, be cognizant of what is going into your mouth. Don't eat just because. Eat because you know your body needs it. Identify when you are eating responsibly for your health and when your old habits may be kicking in. Desserts are always my weakness. Sometimes I order it even when I am stuffed.
Lastly and most importantly, don't be afraid to love yourself! Tell your friends/restaurant staff your dietary restrictions or preferences. I have yet to come across someone who told me my dietary advice could not be implemented.

I am not perfect and still struggling. I do however find it a two-way help when I dispense some knowledge on being responsible for our own health and living for sustainability. I may help someone who reads it, and by typing it out I am affirming it within myself.

Today I made mini pancakes as a breakfast in bed for the family. Recipe from my nutritionist which rocked the morning. I tasted while cooking and when I used to make instant pancakes, the taste didn't actually differ! But boy does the nutritional stats. Here is the recipe.

Mini pancakes from heaven

makes 12

Flourless, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free

1 1/2 cup blanched almond meal

2 eggs

1/4 cup agave ( I used 2 tablespoon agave, 2 tablespoon brown rice syrup)

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon sea-salt

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Crisco 0 calorie butter flavored spray, for cooking

1. Blend them all together in a high speed blender. Since I did not have one, I whisked them up and fully incorporated it into a paste.

2. Let is rest for 15 to 20 minutes.

3. Spritz the oil to evenly coat the pan and heat over medium-low, may vary.

4. Add the mixture to the pan. 1 tablespoon for 1 pancake.

5. Flip over when slightly browned on the bottom. These burn pretty quickly!

6. Once done, add your favorite fillings and toppings of choice.

These were my choice of toppings.

Daddy- Applesauce, cinnamon sugar

Sis- PB and banana

Broddy- Artisana raw cacao bliss and banana

Mummy- Kaya and butter

Fingers crossed that my day will be great.

xoxo. God bless.

2011-10-03T23:01:00.000-07:00

Heyla! It's a start of a new month and I just want to wish my pest I mean BEST couzzie wuzzie, Joel, a Happy Birthday!!! It was a weekend of happy occasions. With Saturday being fully devoted to a wedding which means buffet lunch and 8 cost dinner, yikes! I knew I wasn't going to have much veggies on Saturday, so.... came about my veggie breakfast. Steamed zucchini with green beans topped with juice of one small lime, dark agave and unsweetened carob chips.

Sunday was spent overindulging. I ONLY ATE CAKES THAT DAY, for lunch, snack and dinner. Life sucked. I thought they would bring me happiness, oh the lies and deceit burden me, mentally and physically. I've put on 3kg and none of it is from an increase in rice and whole foods. A weekend of binge can ruin and entire week of exercise and eating in awareness. It is that dangerous. But never fret! It takes about 3 days to a week sometimes for our bodies to recognize the change. So suck it up and you will realize that it's not that certain unhealthy food you want, it might just be the "satisfaction" you felt it could have brought about.

Today, I worked at getting back on track. Some hits and misses but overall I find it an acceptable change after a weekend binge life. Now that was a hard knock life!

Lunch: Raw spinach drizzled with balsamic, topped with vegan pesto and Mary's vegan herb crackers

After lunch my cousin came over for a bit then I headed to BodyInc for my ion osmosis acid detox as well as nutritionist appointment. I learn something new every visit there. Today I even had the chance to share my ion osmosis journey with 2 ladies who were newcomers and new to the machine. I am not extremely knowledgeable, but I share what I feel with the treatment and give my 100% honest opinions.

After BodyInc, I headed over to Brown Rice Paradise to collect my membership card, YAY! Bought some stuff too, never head outta BRP empty handed. The heart and mind forbids.

1. Enjoy life crunch cookies!!! ZOMG ZOMG. When I saw these I could have almost screamed. Been wanting this for so long and they kept telling me they don't bring it in at the moment. I got 2 flavors, Sugar crisp and Vanilla honey graham. These were only found in abundance in Canada as far as I remember through some health blogs.

2. Ener-G brown rice yeast-free loaf, Mary's organic herb crackers and Kaia foods barbeque Kale chips.

3. Artisana raw cacao bliss (cacao butter), Biona white tahini and Maranatha raw almond butter.

Why did I buy cacao??? Cacao=chocolate, yes? Let me just say, its benefits are phenomenal. It promotes the production of endorphins, provides more antioxidents than green tea! My nutritionist makes stuff with raw cacao powder for me and they taste so good, bitter and it has depth. Unlike chocolate. I hate chocolate, period. But raw food just has that added goodness and wholeness to it.

4. More bars!! Mostly raw, some not. All healthy.

5. Lundberg mochi sweet brown rice cakes and date sugar.

Don't the name of the rice cakes sound heavenly to a Japanese food lover? My nutritionist told me to try this out. Simple, spreading any healthy choice of nut butter/spread on it and top it with toppings for a good snack to satisfy any cake or sweet craving I might have.

Date sugar is basically sugar derived purely from dates. So it is an alternative sweetener without the negative effects of refined sugar.

I got home at 6pm and made a simple dinner. After dinner I snacked a bit but I forgive myself. Because I am someone who knows what I want... and it ain't another 3kg from fat!

I just stir fry oyster mushrooms with bean sprouts and corn. No oil needed as mushrooms produce a lot of it's own juice upon coming into contact with heat. I let it cook in its own juices before stir frying it with the other 2 ingredients and added in low sodium shoyu and mirin.

On the side, a rice cake that I had bought topped with tahini which I couldn't quite accept at first bite. So I drizzled a little dark agave over it and my goodness it tasted so good. I think this tahini will grow on me though as it does have a satiating factor.

Made a Raw carob strawberry shake for my birthday cousin. He loved it and I was ecstatic. No one in my family likes the things I make, or at least most of the time. Sometimes they pretend to but I'm not that oblivious. So to have someone I love really appreciate something that I made and love too, is such a strong motivation and encouragement.

xoxo. God bless.