Friday, January 13, 2012

Make a plan, take a step

I have been eating and blessed to have an abundance of food. But it takes discipline. Yes, women have their ravenous days. Still! That isn't any excuse to overindulge. The thing for me is to always keep my portions minimal. I have a small stomach, so sometimes when I say I overeat and people look at me they think it is fine, but I'm almost perishing on the inside. Gastric has been bad the past two days, under control with the aid of natural ginger tea. 

I hadn't eaten much the whole day of yesterday so I totally over-ordered while having dinner by myself at Sushi Tei in the early evening. A whole big plate of pan-fried garlic vegetables, another big plate of vegetable tempura and a bowl of rice. I even had snacks after this. My stomach was stretched so badly it took me a few hours to focus off the pain and nausea and sleep because I had to be up at 6am. 

I realized better than having fruits for breakfast, vegetables are a whole lot more beneficial. Vegetables are really filling and they don't leave you hungry for more. Selected fruits such as bananas and papayas on the other hand, can build up an appetite and induce food cravings even though they are filling. This is a preference definitely because we are just taught to eat sweet or starchy things in the morning, cereals, noodles and what have you. Vegetables for breakfast also speeds up the detoxification process in the morning! Double bonus. I love how my body had been so efficient at detox these days. Just the past two days might have killed the rhythm as I've stuffed quite a fair bit of crap in my tummy.

I've came across a real interesting article over here. LiveStrong has really good articles. It challenges the saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I do agree to a certain extent how we should not obsess over these "positive notions". Yet conversely, breakfast or whatever you call it, the FIRST MEAL of the day is essential. Sometimes I wake up at 11am these days, so unholy, I know, ha! If I leave the house on an empty stomach, I'm sure to over-order later on, not necessarily binge which hasn't happened till the past 2 days. So have something simple. Maybe a bowl of soup with plain rice, perhaps stir fry or boiled vegetables if you'd like, or a good shake. Something to fill you up 50-60%. This works for me!

While I have been busy, a lot of my time has been spending with kids. Mostly my Montessori kids that I am currently teaching, my God-nephew Aden (below) and my own nephew Caleb. The emptiness within me, the sense of loss and perhaps humiliation just builds in me through different moments of the day. But these kids, they make a world of a difference. They love me and would just throw me a smile, a hug or simply hold my hand just because they are glad to have me around them. Children are just so genuine and because of that, they are incredibly precious.

Here's a quote I came about... 

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” - Gillian Anderson
I wonder what people think of it? I am a straight-forward person. I'd think that if things were meant to be, why wait? If you have known each other for so long, what difference would maybe a few months or years make? Lets just say I have my cards set out for me already. I know where I am heading and it is not easy. I am refusing to open up to anybody about this, and just closing the matter for my own views. It is hard because people are people, they judge or have comments to say which sometimes pricks. 

There are things I'd do right now but am holding back. Emotions I'd like to convey but restraining myself. All I need now is dignity and pride. The confidence to flip my hair and turn back at you, so you'll just say 'whoa'. I have been a soft person for a little too long when it comes to love. It is my time, now.

xoxo. God bless.

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