Hello! I am running on empty. Seriously. There is nothing left within me, maybe just a soul, an empty soul to be exact. I have felt this feeling before but never has it been this magnified. It used to lie in certain areas of my life, now it is everything. From work, to family, love and church, I am down in the dumpsters, truly. When I took this picture, I looked at myself, I wasn't particularly feeling physically lethargic or anything, but I saw tiredness in my eyes. Spoke to my nutritionist and friend, Bibiana last week and the first thing she said upon seeing me was, "how are you, you look tired." It ain't a joke. Every minute of my life I am tired.
I do however attribute a wee bit part of this lethargy to my current weight gain due to the CNY goodies and overindulging outside. My lack of quality sleep (3am to 10am) also plays a major role. I cannot go on like this. It is killing me and driving me insane. For most part of my life I've always been contented, but now, I try to be.... and I know this isn't it. If I had my thoughts aligned right, this year is a year of testing for me and towards the end God would be there at the finishing line. I still do not know what I'm going to do. Been making rash decisions in life and food. I hate being so disorganized or what do you call it, spontaneous?
A rather good meal recently was this raw peanut miso help noodles with kailan steps on the side. Ordered this raw noodle online and followed the recipe stated at the back. It's SO good. For the peanut miso sauce, I believe it would serve as an outstanding dip for perhaps if you're healthy, baked tofu, raw carrot sticks and if you're unhealthy, fries.
This was yesterday's dinner. Tofurkey vegan pizza. No dairy, no meat. How the hell do you call it a pizza then? Well check this out,... broddy and I had a great time polishing it off! So much less sodium and fats as compared to a normal pizza. But the flavor definitely does not disappoint.
Today's dinner is simple. I hadn't eaten anything substantial the entire day today. Was out running errands and did some shopping. Had 2 steam bread from Breaktalk while on the go. Dinner includes stir fry cabbage with dried shrimp cooked by my helper, microwaves New Moon otah (trans-fat free) and white rice. Something warm and comforting to end the day is always much appreciated. Didn't drink any horlicks or milo today, not yet at least. I have been drinking a cup a day with full cream milk powder (organic of course!) to satisfy by craving for comfort foods like cake, cookies and all buttery creamy snacks. It has been working. But I have been too bloated, I figure it is the dairy that doesn't sit too well with me. Nonetheless, it is still way better than chomping down cakes!
It has always been my dream to be a flight stewardess for SIA. SIA is an image of prestige to me. Obviously having a father who's a captain from the airline doesn't make things easier as people often do not take to the idea of becoming a "high class waitress". It is more than that to me, so much more. I'm not even in it to travel and see the world because I already have done so. I dare not say I'll be entirely happy being one, but it's the "you only have one life, live it" notion that's pushing me towards this dream.
Cheers to SQ! Here's a sneak preview of red lip stick that I bought today from Chanel. Honestly, once you go Chanel, you never go back. No lip stick can be applied so smoothly and rest creamily on your lips like it does. While the picture doesn't show much as I've been out an entire day with it already, it just marks a change in me. I've changed, a lot. I do not know if I like it but circumstances have dictated such. Sigh.
Everyday in an attempt to tame my taste buds I tell myself it's mind over matter. Don't reach for things with overwhelming amounts of salt, oil, sugar and fats. Keep it clean. I love the word clean. It says a lot. It's the brand of one of the perfumes I use in fact. So now, say hello to a CLEAN diet. I want to keep this up!
xoxo. God bless.