Saturday, March 17, 2012

Sinking deeper

Ola! Have you been wondering what I may have been up to? Let me tell you, I wonder the same. Every night I feel so darn full. I eat and eat and eat in the day. Eating isn't bad, not at all.. but I've been eating out. Don't you just hate it when your taste buds get too accustomed to "outside" food? It ain't a nice thing. So here's a little overview. 

TUESDAY! Fruits always make (and start) my day. Then half a tub of salty chocolate chip home-made cookies, had tomato rice with lettuce for lunch then bowling and dinner at the airport which consisted of mee rebus (!?), and 3 slices of kaya toast. If I had to die soon, it will definitely be a case of carbo-overload. To efficiently digest it I take even more greens and lots of water, including my other supplements which I am thinking of re-stocking with some other new ones, that will be in a months' time or so. 
WEDNESDAY!! Worst! I hadn't eaten at all till 2pm. Had many errands to run in the morning. Obviously the food monster manifested in me and I ate Fish & Co. with broddy. This swiss fish and chips stuffed with mozzarella. Of course I had my fries changed to carrots. Been drinking LOADS of tea. Nearly 2 pots a day. On Wednesday I had this tea my sister bought me from London- strawberry kiwi caffeine free tea. I told myself I wasn't going to eat dinner but I think I remember polishing the remaining half tub of salty chocolate chip cookies. So Wednesday was, death by FATS. 
THURSDAY I tried to be simple. It almost worked! Vegan vegetable pot pie with boiled broccoli for lunch. Raw chocolate kale chips for snacks and cous cous with curry and vegetables for dinner. However I ruined it. Had 2 cups of honey cornflakes with full cream milk powder. My stomach never hurt so bad in 2012. Dairy ain't no friend of mine. Received my parcel of raw goodies from One luck duck. Can't wait to start making stuff with them. Raw maple syrup powder, raw carob powder, raw vanilla crisps, rawtella. So splendid. Clean food is not only nice on the stomach it is also refreshing on the palate. With all this mad eating I've actually been craving raw celery. It is in my fridge, I just have to eat it... Hmm...
The eating continued on Friday and today (Saturday). I feel like I should hang my head low and walk about because I am utterly ashamed. I've put on weight on my upper thighs, tummy and hips. These are camouflaged areas so people cannot see it but I am my best judge and it is time to get my act together.

It is so comforting with all the raw goodies I have sitting around. I know I can just kick start it anytime as my body has reached a point of dehydration- the lack of good minerals. The tough thing is that I have been eating out... it is just THAT hard to choose an un-dressed salad over baked fish with sides or something. I love myself, I want to do this.. for myself! 

Pimples and inflammed pigmentation have been harassing my face. Look at the picture above. It's red all over! I believe it is due to the diet I'm eating, added the pollution in and out everyday. The vehicles really give out so disgustingly polluted air, sometimes it is black! Yikes! I have an important interview on the 14 of April that requires me to have pleasant appearance. So desperate for help right now as the new products I'm using would take a couple of months to show effect. Sigh.

Life will always be miserable. It is just how we choose to live it. Like fried food and all the unhealthy things we have, temptations will always be so ever-present. How? How do we achieve that level of control? I once had it... but I'm trying to ascertain if it was deprivation or self-control. Trying to establish that fine line here. Meanwhile as I always say, being conscious is the biggest step you could possibly take. 

Here's my health promise for tomorrow.
  • I'm packing celery sticks for lunch and I am NOT going to eat unhealthy "outside" food while dining out with my friends at lunch.
xoxo. God bless.

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