I haven't blogged for a week now. What have I been up to? Lets just say occasionally I felt energized and re-charged. Sometimes disappointed, and having real bad dark eye circles. What exactly have I been doing you may ask? Two words, finding myself. I've realized there were some things I could do, some I couldn't.
- Dairy doesn't sit well with me at all! In the form of pure milk/ biscuits with cream etc.
- I love green juices. It nourishes me and I don't feel ill or have bad cravings.
- I cannot control eating at night when I'm in front of the TV (still working on it).
- I've found the perfect health supplements to help my body function well.
- Shopping makes me happy.
- I don't have restricted meal times, I can eat when I'm hungry and I won't die.
Simply amazing facts that I've found out about myself. I had ups and downs. The binge stopped completely, only at night and those weren't even the STRONG cravings moment. It was just "oh, I'm here at the TV again.. so.... why not?" kinda thing. I need to stop it. I would love suggestions!
So here I go with some overviews of the week.
Met up with my best buds Kevin and Colin who has always been by my side since my secondary school years. People didn't like me then, I was mean, rude and repulsive. I didn't care for a thing in the world, unless I liked you. So most of the time, I'd have attracted back-stabbers. But these guys, plus a few more, stood by me and accepted me for who I was deep inside. Now 7 years later, our friendship is still going strong. Love them to bits and pieces.
That night with them, I had dinner at 930pm! Yes, no kidding. I usually have dinner at 5-ish, or 6pm. Fish and Co now dishes up healthy alternatives and portion sizes too! I'm so happy I have a new go-to eatery on my list. I had a smaller portion size of poached salmon with miso gravy and a size of garlic sauteed green beans. Yummy. Having tea keeps me full and satiated while washing down the food at the same time. So a chamomile tea it was. We hung till almost midnight and Kevin sent me home in his bike. First bike ride ever! Okay no, I had 2 before but not anything "official". As I took in the midnight cool breeze and empty roads, I've never felt more at peace with myself. My best bud, he is the best.
My nutritionist gave me Liz Lovely's vegan gluten-free cookies. I've heard how popular they were but they don't ship to Singapore. However her husband who resides in the States shipped them over to her. I love dense cookies. But we don't get that here, not anything healthy. Last night I had one for a bedtime snack. The Gingersnap. After which I binged on some crap like pandan bread and prawn crackers. Life can be so miserable at those moments. It is like why the hell would I allow myself to be hurt by the same man over and over again? That's why binge eating feels like. Frustrating and well, frustating.
I explored weird food combinations. Food I've not touched in years. KIMCHI. Bliss to me, is eating kimchi with steaming hot rice. Simple and satisfying. I did just that and I was happy as a lark. Nope, no gastric. I have been taking supplements like pure aloe vera juice which aids in healing the stomach wall lining. But as long as I don't revert to the old days of eating such strong food every single day, I'd do just fine. Trial and error is all it takes. And of course, during trail and error, the weight fluctuates like crazy. I go up an down putting on 2 kg and losing it just in a snap.
Found a newly built fitness corner in a park at my estate. It's a 10 minute cycle from my place. Great new exercise routine while my gym is under renovation till' end November. Kevin did teach me some stuff to do for an effective workout. My boy buddies Colin, Kevin and Ivan are all work out geniuses and they are good at it.
Fixed myself a 3 course set lunch which was perfect. Spinach honey blend. Cauliflower mash. Mini Larabar in apple pie. Life can be so simple sometimes. It's us who likes to make things complex.
Shopping and shopping. TONS of it. Two whole days, I mean W.H.O.L.E days of shopping. I shopped from morning to evening for two whole days. Some disappointments 'cos I couldn't fit into many clothes anymore. Weeps! I would never buy a bigger size. 'Cos I know as long as I stop binge-eating, the extra love handles, tummy etc will automatically vanish. It has minimized now that my binge-eating has minimized. But it isn't enough, it has to stop. So see, this beautiful enchanting blue dress could never look pretty on me with a tummy like that :(
More more more, give me more green juice! From LINS Smoodees. They are definitely the better ones around. A place which has a genuine passion for this planet.
Green juice of my own. I like making them thick. This had spinach, mango, Sunwarrior raw protein vanilla, raw cacao powder and vanilla stevia drops.
A LOT of eating outs. Tea Cosy at Plaza Singapura. I bought myself a soft toy from there, my new family and friend, Blue Sherbet. I had their Sakura green tea and a smoken salmon grilled prawn salad with a Vietnamese citrus dressing. With my sister and cousin.
Regular ion osmosis negative ion detox. The water became clearer! Reflecting my minimized binge eating and tons of green juice. Less yeast since I've almost completely cut out dairy. It used to be such a dark brown that I can't even see my feet. Now I can see them :)
More Green room hanging, even by myself. I live for raw. If only every day I could have good raw meals. But it is tough, seriously. This was their green grapefruit. It contains grapefruit, pomelo, spinach, chlo'raw'phyll (their home blend raw powder), honey and I think some hints of lime etc. It was good, real good. Bought home some stuff too (below).
I think as the saying going, you'll never know unless you try, does apply here. Perhaps in real life circumstances too. I am a person who restricts myself and disciplines myself very very strictly. Hence I do believe the binge also occurs as my body's form of rebellion. Now that I don't control myself AS much, the binge naturally subsides because I'm letting my body nourish and replenish itself naturally.
I have a long way more to go.
xoxo. God bless.